What I wanted was to see was the musical “Frozen” in Chicago; what I got was a Blackhawks’ game at the United Center.
“There are a lot of similarities,” Grumpy insisted. “There’s ice, plenty of excitement and a wildly enthusiastic audience singing their hearts out; loud music, popcorn, long lines for the bathrooms; need I go on?”
My husband may be Grumpy, but that doesn’t make me Happy. I have limited interest in American sports unless the Cubs are winning the World Series and let’s face it, on past experience we’ve still got another 103 years to wait before that happens again.
Watching sports on this side of the Atlantic is very different to England. Let’s compare baseball to cricket. Cricket is so complex that a match can last three to five days. A baseball game could be over in three hours, but they drag it out to about 10 because they keep stopping. Why do they do that? It’s because the game is often so boring, they must keep waking the audience up with silly antics that have nothing to do with the game at all. If I want to see a clown car bursting at the seams, I’ll go to a circus or a horror movie thank you very much!
Now I’m not saying that cricket is any more interesting than baseball. It really depends on your preference. Do you like to see people running up and down or round in a circle? The only good thing is cricket is far more civilized with a break for tea, often accompanied by cucumber sandwiches and cake.
Anyhow, back to the Blackhawks. Since we were there, I thought I may as well try and make the most of it. I don’t profess to be a sports reporter, but for anyone else who’s never seen an ice hockey match — sorry, game ? here’s what I learned:
1. There are lights and sounds, lots of them. In fact, there’s a huge 360-degree screen that comes down over the pitch, sorry, rink. It enables you to see close-ups of the players, stats, the score, commercials and pictures of people in the crowd who are half asleep but wake up as soon as they realize the camera is on them. I did notice the irony that while they were waving violently from said screen, it was blocking my view of the one person I knew sitting on the opposite side of the stadium.
2. From my seat in section 305, I was excited to see huge beer carts heading onto the ice. Then I had a thought.
“That’s nice for the people down below, but what about us?” I asked Grumpy, who seemed a little confused by my question.
“What beer carts?”
“The ones driving around the ice now,” I said.
“They’re not selling beer, they’re advertising it on the Zambonis,” he said, rolling his eyes. I couldn’t see a magician nor anyone selling Italian cookies but he seemed irritated so I shut up.
3. At English soccer games the fans will often sing in unison to cheer on their team. I didn’t hear much of that but there were a lot of complaints about the other team. The Hawks were playing the Red Wings so the chant I heard most was “Detroit sucks.” In these days when kindness matters, I found that not only rude but also incorrect. They led the entire night, beating the Hawks 6-3, so if anyone sucked that night it was us.
4. The game was fast and the players were furious. They whooshed around the ice with ease, but I’d like to see how many would fall over if they couldn’t use those sticks to support themselves. There was a lot of jostling around the edges as the opposing team members knocked into each other, but players were rarely sent off. In soccer any roughhousing is met with the referee holding up a yellow card so the offending player has to pack up and go home. Here the most I saw was a two-minute time out, where I assume the offender had to go and sit on the naughty step to think about what they’d done.
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5. There were a lot of goals (unfortunately the Red Wings accumulating more than the Blackhawks) but you had no hope of seeing any. Each one was preceded with a rugby like scrum around the goal which blocked the view of even those sitting rink side. I know realize that’s why they play “Chelsea Dagger” each time. The rousing music is the only way the fans would ever know. As I said, no singing like at a soccer game, but an ear splitting “da, da, da, duh, da, da duh da da duh.”
6. Much to my disappointment, at no time did the teams line up to make a giant wheel where the last person has to skate like crazy to join on. The only time I have seen any ice activity that didn’t involve gritting or slipping was watching “Holiday on Ice” as a child. I think that would make a great half time show if they only had a half time.
7. You know what would make the game easier for the players? If they moved the goal posts! They’re so small no wonder you can’t see when the puck goes in. Also, those sticks are pretty small too. Why not use those giant brooms they sweep the ice with during the intervals? If you got one of those behind the puck you’d have not only find it easier to score, but the crowd could actually see when it hit the back net. Possibly.
8. Speaking of pucks, I understand why they don’t use balls, but why is it named after a character in “A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream”? Is it because they hop around all over the place? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word “puck” is derived from the Scottish Gaelic “puc” or the Irish “poc,” which mean to poke, punch or deliver a blow. I may know nothing about ice hockey, but I do know how to use a dictionary.
Hilary Decent is a freelance journalist who moved from England to Naperville in 2007.