As they tentatively settle into the new academic year, parents and children face so many factors that lie out of their control. It feels like in-person learning could fall victim to the COVID Delta variant at any moment. Meanwhile, schools and students are still reeling from the strangest academic year in modern history.
All this uncertainty causes anxiety and depression, with instances becoming more common among children at younger ages, said Kymberly Larson, a neuropsychologist who is director of Marvelous Minds family behavioral health center in Glen Ellyn.
On Thursday, Larson will provide parents methods for helping children manage “pandemic aftershock” in a virtual program through the Midlothian Public Library.
The pandemic presents many anxiety-inducing unknowns, she said, especially for kids returning to school and their parents.
“Not knowing what to expect is what’s breeding anxiety,” Larson said. “‘I don’t know what kindergarten is going to be like. I don’t know if I should send my kid to school.’ All these big question marks, and nobody has a truth that’s agreed upon, and that breeds anxiety.”
Part of parenting involves teaching children a set of truths, she said. Parents draw lines between appropriate and inappropriate behavior, healthy and unhealthy habits. The pandemic has challenged children to learn a new set of truths, Larson said, then to adapt every time public health directives change.
Even in this ever-evolving, scary situation, Larson said parents can provide children with tools to manage their emotions and move forward. First, consider teaching kids methods to self-soothe, starting with basic deep breathing.
“If you can teach your kid to soothe themselves, whether through mindfulness, coloring, breathing or even bubbles, you’re giving your kid skills to be able to stop for a second and think,” Larson said.
“If you can handle your internal world, you can look beyond yourself and start to make sense of and organize all the input that’s coming in through your senses.”
Parents can also demonstrate and practice self-soothing tactics, even allowing a young child to place a hand on their heart or stomach while the parent breathes and calms down, Larson said.
Remember, she said, that children feed off their parents’ anxiety and mimic their words and behaviors. Larson said she thinks children would have fared better emotionally throughout the pandemic if adults backed off a bit and kept their opinions more subdued.
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“If we didn’t make such a big deal about it, I don’t think we’d be seeing the prevalence of anxieties we’re seeing,” she said.
“If we act cool and tell kids everything’s going to be OK, they’ll believe that. If we run around going, ‘I don’t know what to do!’ it perpetuates anxiety.”
Despite her opinion, Larson said she doesn’t want to blame parents, who are in a state of anxiety about their children. And while “playing it cool” is beneficial, she said, it’s OK for parents to tell kids they don’t have all the answers.
As they step into the school year, Larson predicts kids will be successful, especially with their parents’ help. She said adults should not underestimate kids’ resilience. Parents, meanwhile, should “give themselves some grace,” she said.
“This is a weird time and we’re all struggling. It’s OK to admit that,” Larson said. “If you can teach your kids that life is hard sometimes and it’s a good and healthy thing to ask for help, that’s probably one of the best gifts we can give our kids.
More information on Larson’s virtual program through the Midlothian Public Library is at www.midlothianlibrary.org.
Carole Sharwarko is a freelance reporter for the Daily Southtown.