Dear Dr. June:
Do you ever see the posts on social media about these couples and their relationships that say things like, “I just married my best friend,” or, “Happy anniversary to my husband, my best friend”? I don’t get it. Do you get it? I’ve been married for five years, and my husband and I are thick as thieves. I have yet to call him my best friend. We each have best friends from years ago before we started dating. I have yet to want to marry or have a sexual relationship with my best friend. My husband and I have a dog, which is man’s best friend, and I don’t want to marry my dog. I know I sound sarcastic, but that’s not my point. I’m asking as part of a somewhat newly married couple, Dr. June, if there is something I’m missing. Should your spouse be your best friend for a better marriage?
— Kay from Florida
Dear Kay:
Love the dog comment — thank you for the laugh! By the way, congratulations on five years. I wish you many more.
Oh, boy, you can get me in trouble with this one, but here we go.
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To answer your first question, yes. I have seen many of those posts. In fact, I think most of the ones I’ve seen include the “best friend” comment. In response to “getting it,” I believe that I understand it. You’re supposed to have a tight relationship with your spouse or significant other, and perhaps the bond of best friendship is considered the ultimate in a relationship. They go to their spouses to confide in them, have a shoulder to cry on and hang out with them. These are things you do with your best friend, right? However, you can do all those things without your spouse being your best friend.
I’m sure you can already guess my answer to the second part. No, you aren’t missing anything, and your spouse doesn’t have to be your best friend for a better marriage. You should definitely be the best of friends, but I agree that my best friend is my best friend. My husband is my romantic leading man, strong companion and biggest supporter. The best friend title is not needed.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard during and after the divorce, “We’re better off as friends.” Interesting, don’t you think? Let’s find out what the readers think. Send me an email with your thoughts about best friends in marital relationships. Do you think that helps a marriage? I look forward to hearing from you.
Email Dr. June Hall at [email protected] and subscribe to her YouTube “Cooking up Advice.” For more information about Dr. June visit www.drjunehall.com or follow her on Instagram @aptacious.
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