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player ready...Dear Dr. June:
My boyfriend and I met about a year ago, and it was an instant connection. We started dating, and he was treating me so well that I fell hard for him. My ex-boyfriend never treated me that way and didn’t seem proud to have me. My new man parades me around like he is so lucky to have me. I felt so special, and we even talked marriage. I trusted him with my heart, my life and my finances. Things are still decent between us, but my finances are not so good anymore. I helped him out a couple of times, but he didn’t follow through on his end, and my credit took a hit. I also don’t have any money back yet. I’m not sure what to do. In some ways I feel scammed, but we’re on still together on good terms, and he’s still treating me well. What do you think? — Confused in New York
Dear Confused:
This is a doozy. He’s scamming you, but you’re still together because he is a good man who treats you well. Those two things just don’t seem to go together in my opinion.
I realize that having someone proud of you after having a negative experience in your previous relationship feels refreshing for you. That is a positive in the relationship, and I’m glad you are discovering you are worth more. Here’s the deal though: Your current boyfriend knows this and is using it for his gain. That’s the negative. From where I sit, the days of him treating you so well are over. Think about it: Don’t you think you’re still settling for less than you deserve by letting someone take advantage of you financially?
How is he being so good to you besides showing you off to his friends and sweet-talking you? It doesn’t sound like he can afford to “date” you. Finances are one of the main reasons for divorce, and you’re not even married. Marrying him doesn’t sound like such a good idea either. That would only make matters worse. Check out the tone of your letter. You went from so great down to decent. That alone should help clear up some of your confusion.
What do I think? I think you should walk away from this man and start rebuilding your finances. Why? The chances of recouping your financial losses from this man are slim to none. The chances of him continuing to take advantage of you are 100%.
Email Dr. June Hall at [email protected] and subscribe to her YouTube “Cooking up Advice.” For more information about Dr. June visit www.drjunehall.com or follow her on Instagram @aptacious.
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