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Instructions: Click the box next to each tweet that amuses you — no limit to the number of choices. Voting closes Friday at noon Chicago time. Winner is published in the Sunday paper. Some tweets are lightly edited to remove profanity or improve punctuation, diction or clarity. If you see a plagiarized tweet, let me know via email — [email protected] — and send a link for evidence! I’ll change the attribution or make it “unknown” or attribute it to “various” sources. If your tweet is included and you’d rather it not be or you object to how I may have edited it, let me know and I’ll remove it as quickly as I can. And if you’d like never to be included in this feature, let me know and I’ll be glad to honor your request. If you know the Tweet is not original with you, email me and I’ll change the attribution. Some of the tweets are old, but if they’re new to me, then they qualify for inclusion. Answer order is randomized each time.

The poll is closed. Here are the finalists

If your defense attorney has white side burns but jet black hair, you’re going to jail …. @LeslieDonnelly2

This is literally the correct use of the word literally. … @wildethingy

Coyote: Top speed 43 mph. Roadrunner: Top speed 26 mph. My childhood was a lie. … @ozzyunc

I’m starting to think I’m not going to have an oeuvre … …@rebrafsim

“You can’t make this stuff up” is the most pre-internet phrase ever. … @ConanOBrien

No one is in denial more than a mom who brings a book to the pool … @saltssaltgirl

I bet authors who subtitle their books “A Novel” go crazy with label makers … @Rollinintheseat

CAT scans are just like regular scans, only the techs push you off the table after. … @mack44_d

Freedom of speech is fantastic until other people start talking … .@GianDoh

And here is the winner:

One man’s delusional paranoid fantasies are another man’s actual political beliefs … @wildethingy

https://secure.polldaddy.com/p/10853689.js
TEMPLATE Which of these top 10 tweets do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged)

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Twitter @EricZorn

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