Instructions: Click the box next to each tweet that amuses you — no limit to the number of choices. Voting closes Friday at noon Chicago time. Winner is published in the Sunday paper (with a week delay when I’m on vacation) Some tweets are lightly edited to remove profanity or improve punctuation, diction or clarity. If you see a plagiarized tweet, let me know via email — [email protected] — and send a link for evidence! I’ll change the attribution or make it “unknown” or attribute it to “various” sources. If your tweet is included and you’d rather it not be or you object to how I may have edited it, let me know and I’ll remove it as quickly as I can. And if you’d like never to be included in this feature, let me know and I’ll be glad to honor your request. If you know the Tweet is not original with you, email me and I’ll change the attribution. Some of the tweets are old, but if they’re new to me, then they qualify for inclusion. Answer order is randomized each time.
The poll is closed. Here are the finalists
One day I plan on walking into a bar on a foggy night in some small town I’ve never been to before and say “Large Marge sent me.” … @MaMikeamo
Spelling bee judge: Your word is “schadenfreude.” Me: Schadenfreude. S.. H… *everyone laughs* … @BigJDubz
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Everyone deserves a chance to be loved for who they are. Not by me of course. But by someone. … @PinkCamoTO
If I were a pediatrician I’d break the ice with new patients by having the receptionist call my phone three minutes into the appointment and saying “Look, Mrs. Johnson, I run a busy practice. For the last time, NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED” …. @seamussaid
Who still carries their eggs in a basket anyway? … @PinkCamoTO
Kindness costs nothing, which means it has a terrible business plan … @TheAlexNevil
Kinda weird that when a dog is sitting it’s still half standing … @mattewe02
Every time a cashier asks if I found everything okay I lie and say yes just so there won’t be more questions … @TheCatWhisprer
In the next James Bond movie, 007 has to prevent a Congolese arms dealer from selling nuclear-grade plutonium to a Nevada couple planning a gender reveal … @gilbertjasono
And here is the winner:
The party of open carry wants you to know your mask is making them uncomfortable … @longwall26
https://secure.polldaddy.com/p/10816540.js
Which of these top 10 tweets do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged)