It’s been several years since her husband died, but Leslie Susralski still benefits from an opportunity to share her sadness over his suffering and passing from prostate cancer.
She’s found that outlet in a new Buddy Program at The Cancer Support Center based in Homewood and Mokena. The program links up people with cancer or who have had loved ones with the disease, giving them the chance to share their worries and joys with others who have experienced the same well of emotions.
COVID-19 has made emotional support more urgent, though those connections now are being shared online.
“For me it might be that I’m struggling with, that day, the loss of my husband,” said Susralski, who lives in Orland Park. “For the other person, it might be they’re struggling because their lymphedema is out of control and it hurts.
“It is the knowledge that you have contact with people who are in the same position as you are, whether it’s terminal or something you can recover from.”
Like others in the program, Susralski had her own run-in with cancer when she was diagnosed with it more than a decade ago. It turned out she did not have cancer but rather a cell type that made the future disease probable. To be safe, she had a double mastectomy.
“I just think people should know there is help out there if you’re diagnosed,” said Susralski, 72, who conducted a singing bowls class at the center before the pandemic and hopes to do so again. “When you’re diagnosed with cancer you are in such shock and you need to reach out to people who understand.”
Susralski said participating in the center’s various programs in nutrition, meditation and more helped keep her husband alive. Chatting with other clients made her feel less alone and she suggested a formal Buddy Program. Cancer Support Center staff jumped at the idea.
“Any time I’m talking with someone and they’re in the beginning stage of a cancer diagnosis, there’s so much unknown and so many unanswered questions that they often feel like they’re the only people who have thought about this, wondered about this, been nervous about it,” said Kathleen Daly, clinical program director and art therapist at the Center. “Any time they can connect with an individual who has walked the same path, you just see the relief on their face.”
Finding informal buddies used to be easy at the center when people attended programs and chatted after.
“We don’t have the same 10 minutes before or after a group where you might talk with someone and catch up,” said Daly, explaining the importance of a formal Buddy Program. “That doesn’t happen as easily on Zoom.”
Daly said sharing emotions with family and friends, however well meaning, isn’t the same.
“If they’re not comfortable talking about cancer, they may go into the default mode to try to fix it or make you feel better,” said Daly. “They (clients) might feel embarrassed about lost body parts or are struggling with identity issues.
“It’s like the club nobody wants to be part of.”
The center had already offered a smaller program for African American women, called “Sisters of Hope.”
Sue Armato, the CSC’s executive director, said mentors in that group were able to encourage other women to attend, offering to pick them up and drive them.
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“It’s great because they don’t feel alone but have someone helping them move forward,” said Armato, who had cancer herself before taking her job at the center nine years ago.
That helps Armato understand the need for buddies.
“It just creates kind of a loneliness and an isolation,” said Armato. “You feel like you’re a leper.
“We kind of keep that stuff hidden and I think we do a lot to break down those barriers of silence,” Armato said.
Janice Neumann is a freelance reporter for the Daily Southtown.