Do Naperville men define their masculinity by their ability to shovel their own snow?
Only if you believe a tongue-in-cheek article published online this week by The Onion, the satirical digital media company based in Chicago that pokes fun at the news.
A story posted Tuesday was headlined, “‘Hope You Don’t Mind I Shoveled Your Sidewalk Too,’ Says Neighbor In Devastating Blow To Dad’s Masculinity.” The fictional father, Robert Banzino, lives in Naperville, according to the article’s dateline.
The account reads in part: “‘Hey, buddy, I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and cleared the walkways in front of your place too,” (neighbor Mark) Stewart said in an aggressive attack on Banzino’s manhood, absolutely annihilating the father’s sense of virility with the kind deed.
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“‘I saw that you hadn’t gotten to it yet (because you are an impotent, effeminate weakling), so I thought I’d help out (and, in turn, metaphorically castrate you). Oh, and while I was at it, I figured I might as well shovel out your wife’s car too.'”
Naperville Mayor Steve Chirico said he found the short story funny — and maybe not too far off the mark.
He’s had is good intentions called into question when he’s helped out neighbors in the past, Chirico said.
“They want to do it for themselves, they may consider it a challenge … (or a ‘competition),'” the mayor said.
As for Naperville being put in the spotlight?
“Sometimes they do that just because Naperville is an interesting place, and recognizable,” the mayor said. “It’s a go-to city to use in a headline, even though (this story) has nothing to do with Naperville.”