Instructions: Click the box next to each tweet that amuses you — no limit to the number of choices. Voting closes Friday at noon Chicago time. Winner is published in the Sunday paper (with a week delay when I’m on vacation) Some tweets are lightly edited to remove profanity or improve punctuation, diction or clarity. If you see a plagiarized tweet, let me know via email — [email protected] — and send a link for evidence! I’ll change the attribution or make it “unknown” or attribute it to “various” sources. If your tweet is included and you’d rather it not be or you object to how I may have edited it, let me know and I’ll remove it as quickly as I can. And if you’d like never to be included in this feature, let me know and I’ll be glad to honor your request. If you know the Tweet is not original with you, email me and I’ll change the attribution. Some of the tweets are old, but if they’re new to me, then they qualify for inclusion. Answer order is randomized each time.
More Top Picks Best Power Nailers
The poll is closed. Here are the finalists
Nothing brings a large group of neighbors together like something that’s none of their business … @RunOldMan
I sign off with “kind regards” but, secretly, all my regarding is malicious… @spaziotwat
Hedge funds are complaining about losing billions on GameStop, which means it’s a good time to invest in whatever company makes the world’s tiniest violins. …@StephenAtHome
Sorry I dropped you during the trust fall, but I got a notification… @topaz_kell
Sriracha is just ketchup that hasn’t been to therapy …@DarthJML
Youth Pastor: “Do you know who also crashed a market?” …@iamTannenbaum
I hide the fact that I can’t swim by eating every 15 minutes … @Bored_thriller
I wasn’t very involved in my kids’ education. I thought Pre-K was J. … @RickAaron
Not to be “that guy” but aren’t both Testaments old now? …@home_halfway
And here is the winner:
The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate … @AlexTheProducer
https://secure.polldaddy.com/p/10734328.js
Which of these top 10 tweets do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged)