Instructions: Click the box next to each tweet that amuses you — no limit to the number of choices. Voting closes Friday at noon Chicago time. Winner is published in the Sunday paper (with a week delay when I’m on vacation) Some tweets are lightly edited to remove profanity or improve punctuation, diction or clarity. If you see a plagiarized tweet, let me know via email — [email protected] — and send a link for evidence! I’ll change the attribution or make it “unknown” or attribute it to “various” sources. If your tweet is included and you’d rather it not be or you object to how I may have edited it, let me know and I’ll remove it as quickly as I can. And if you’d like never to be included in this feature, let me know and I’ll be glad to honor your request. If you know the Tweet is not original with you, email me and I’ll change the attribution. Some of the tweets are old, but if they’re new to me, then they qualify for inclusion. Answer order is randomized each time.
The poll is closed. Here are the finalists
If these trick-or-treaters stop whining and actually read those old New Yorker issues I bet they’ll enjoy them …@JohnLyonTweets
Please remember- if you don’t end your relationship by Halloween you’re gonna have to ride that crazy train all the way through the New Year, it’s the law …. @elunatyk
Tonight for Halloween, I’m putting an empty bowl on my porch with a note that says “Take One, Please.” … @KentWGraham
Halloween is coming up soon. I think I will dress up as a mailbox since nothing terrifies Republicans more … @DoYouEvenLif
ME: “Trick or bear!” NEIGHBOR: “Bear?” ME: “HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR!” …. [distant roar and sounds of clanking chains] …. @rolldiggity
[Takes a long haul off a cigarette Kid, it’s time you realized that packing Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas into the last few months of the year are a plot by Big Fitness to sell January gym memberships … @lloydrang[dark alley] Me: Here’s the $3 million, thanks again for this, be sure to send pictures. Kidnapper: Wait, don’t you want your kids back? ….@Marlebean
Me: Would you like beans? Three-year-old: No. Me (trying to instill manners): No…what? Three year old: No beans ….@urmumsausername
Salesman pointed out the washing machine’s “Active Wear” setting and we laughed and laughed. …@ WilliamAder
And here is the winner:
Waiting in line to vote, somebody pulls up and asks, “How long have you been waiting?” Some guy yells back, “Four years!” …. @Gloria4Educ
https://secure.polldaddy.com/p/10636122.js
Which of these top tweets do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged)
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