Instructions: Click the box next to each tweet that amuses you — no limit to the number of choices. Voting closes Friday at noon Chicago time. Winner is published in the Sunday paper (with a week delay when I’m on vacation) Some tweets are lightly edited to remove profanity or improve punctuation, diction or clarity. If you see a plagiarized tweet, let me know via email — [email protected] — and send a link for evidence! I’ll change the attribution or make it “unknown” or attribute it to “various” sources. If your tweet is included and you’d rather it not be or you object to how I may have edited it, let me know and I’ll remove it as quickly as I can. And if you’d like never to be included in this feature, let me know and I’ll be glad to honor your request. If you know the Tweet is not original with you, email me and I’ll change the attribution. Some of the tweets are old, but if they’re new to me, then they qualify for inclusion. Answer order is randomized each time.
The poll is closed. Here are the finalists
After much reflection I’ve decided to focus my thoughts and prayers on the people who don’t get to go on free helicopter rides on their way to 100% taxpayer funded healthcare ….@LostCatDog
Remember when a blue moon was a rare and romantic thing? And now it’s probably something terrible on Urban Dictionary … @WetMascara
Triscuits is short for scuit scuit scuit … @fro_vo
Good luck getting paid, Walter Reed … @ConanOBrien
Kids today with their $50 haircuts. Mom cut our hair & knew two styles: Pete Rose & Charlie Brown … @ozzyunc
The legends speak of a Goody Three Shoes .. @blade_funner
“Son you’re just not cut out to be a mime.” “Is it something I said?” “Yes.” …@Tommytoughstuff
More Top Picks Best Water Heater For Bathroom
Adults don’t tiptoe nearly as much as Saturday morning cartoons led me to believe….@TheBoydP
When this is over, don’t tell my kids we’re allowed to go inside McDonald’s again … @OrdinaryAlso
And here is the winner:
If I get COVID, how long does it normally take for the helicopter to come pick me up? … @Cheeseboy22
https://secure.polldaddy.com/p/10621873.js
Which of these top tweets do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged)