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Here, in no particular order, are my choices for the top tweets in my feed from the month of December, 2019

What I’ve learned from the Internet is access to an almost limitless amount of information actually makes people dumber … @wildethingy

Disney gave me unrealistic ideas about how I’d look after a nap …@MorticiaKate

Sure the Confederate flag is a symbol of slavery, racism and hatred, but it’s also a symbol of getting your butt kicked … @TheTweetOfGod

Never ever tell yourself “my idea isn’t good enough.” The entire premise of Marmaduke is “what if a dog was big?” And that nonsense has been going for more than 60 years … @_AlexHirsch

[Bethlehem] Three Wise Men: We brought gold, frankincense and myrrh. Mary: Gee uhhh, thanks I guess? Three Wise Men: Where do you want them? Mary: Just put them next to the diapers, wipes and baby blankets. Three Wise Men: Who brought those? Mary: The Three Wise Women … @daemonic3

My new favorite holiday special is “Greta Thunberg Narrates ‘Frosty the Puddle'” … @RickAaron

Please allow children to believe in Santa. You believe in essential oils and no one is ruining it for you …. @Mothernetic

Santa: (shaking me awake) Oatmeal raisin? Are you serious right now? …. @Tommytoughstuff

Ladies, if your boyfriend asks for matador equipment for Christmas, it’s a big red flag …@davideastUK

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow sounds like a scene from a horror movie …@mejustbeth