We know the official standings, the ones that yielded an Ohio State-Wisconsin Big Ten title game and led to the second coming of Greg Schiano at Rutgers.
But how about the, um, alumni satisfaction standings? Here’s how every Big Ten team fared against the spread in 2019, according to Actionnetwork.com:
Ohio State: 9-4
Illinois: 8-4
Purdue: 8-4
Wisconsin: 8-5
Indiana: 7-5
Michigan: 7-5
Minnesota: 6-4-2
Penn State: 5-6-1
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Iowa: 5-7
Maryland: 5-7
Northwestern: 3-7-2
Rutgers: 4-8
Michigan State: 3-9
Nebraska: 3-9
Santa has no presents for you, Mark Dantonio and Scott Frost.
Before we move on to the most wonderful week of the year, a quick Big Ten sports wagering season in review:
Most ridiculous spread: Michigan State minus 141/2 against Arizona State. The Spartans didn’t score until the fourth quarter and lost outright 10-7.
Bad beat of the year: Northwestern plus 61/2 at Stanford was money until a strip-sack touchdown on the final meaningful — make that very meaningful — play of the Cardinal’s 17-7 victory.
My worst prediction: I took Maryland plus 61/2 when the Terrapins played host to Penn State. The Nittany Lions won 59-0.
My best prediction: I had Nebraska minus 5 against Maryland. The score was 54-0 with five minutes to play.
Spread of the year: Perhaps the season’s worst game yielded the most stress. The line on Massachusetts-Northwestern ranged from 381/2 to 41. The Wildcats won 45-6 after UMass didn’t care enough to try to score from 16 yards out before time expired.
Hook of the year: In sports betting parlance, a hook is not a curveball or a manager yanking a pitcher. It’s a half-point. Penn State, laying 281/2 points to Purdue, won 35-7.
On to the Big Ten bowls, plus two bonus picks. The lines are below with our latest picks against the spread. Tuesday morning odds courtesy of MyBookie.ag. Selections in bold.
Pinstripe Bowl: Wake Forest (plus 31/2) vs. Michigan State
2:20 p.m. Friday, ESPN
Anyone else permanently scarred by last year’s Spartans bowl game? Oregon beat Michigan State 7-6. Thanks, guys. What a show! I’ll stay away from Mark Dantonio, America’s most stubborn coach, and take Wake.
Holiday Bowl: USC (plus 2) vs. Iowa
7 p.m. Friday, FS1
This matchup pits comedy against drama. Trojans coach Clay Helton was reportedly a goner, and then he wasn’t. And then his 2020 recruiting class was ranked dead last in the Pac-12 after the early signing period, leaving USC alumni to dust off their gold-plated pitchforks. Iowa football has no such shenanigans. Kirk Ferentz is in his 21st season, and the Hawkeyes perform reliably in bowls when they’re not facing Christian McCaffrey.
Camping World Bowl: Iowa State (plus 31/2) vs. Notre Dame
11 a.m. Saturday, ABC-7
Offensive coordinator Chip Long is out at Notre Dame after devising successful schemes but wearing on his players. Lance Taylor will coordinate the Irish rushing attack against Iowa State, and Tom Rees, who interviewed for the Northwestern offensive coordinator job, will devise the passing attack. Look for the Irish to play relaxed and play well.
Cotton Bowl: Memphis (plus 7) vs. Penn State
11 a.m. Saturday, ESPN
Speaking of coaches exiting stage right, Penn State offensive coordinator Ricky Rahne left for the top job at Old Dominion, while Memphis coach Mike Norvell bolted for Florida State. Offensive line coach Ryan Silverfield got promoted, and the Tigers players either love him or are great actors. I’ll take the points.
Peach Bowl: Oklahoma (plus 14) vs. LSU
3 p.m. Saturday, ESPN
America’s not buying into a Heisman jinx, pushing this line from 11 to 14 with 77% of money going on the Tigers. The Sooners wouldn’t dare mess up the specter of LSU playing for the national championship in New Orleans, would they? No way. LSU‘s Joe Burrow will feast on Oklahoma’s thin secondary.
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Fiesta Bowl: Ohio State (plus 2) vs. Clemson
7 p.m. Saturday, ESPN
We’ll have much deeper thoughts on this game as kickoff nears, but for now understand that my Big Ten heart is trumping my Big Ten brain. After watching the Buckeyes slaughter the best of the Midwest every week, I simply cannot pick Clemson — even if these Tigers are as good as the group that stampeded through the playoffs last season.
Redbox Bowl: Illinois (plus 61/2) vs. California
3 p.m. Monday, FOX-32
It would be nice to know why the Illini used their zombie clones for the season finale against Northwestern and whether their bodies and brains will make the trip west. Quarterback Brandon Peters should be back after missing the Northwestern game with a concussion, so I’ll take the Illini in a low-scoring (but hopefully high-energy) game.
Outback Bowl: Minnesota (plus 71/2) vs. Auburn
Noon Jan. 1, ESPN
Turn away, Purdue fans. Remember what the Tigers did last year as a mere 31/2-point favorite? They buried Purdue 63-14. This year’s spread is north of a touchdown, and the 2019 Gophers are much better than the 2018 Boilermakers. But still. We’ll take an Auburn team with three pretty losses: Florida (24-13), LSU (23-20) and Georgia (21-14).
Citrus Bowl: Michigan (plus 71/2) vs. Alabama
Noon Jan. 1, ABC-7
As the AP’s Ralph Russo put it, this game should create enough content to feed “The Paul Finebaum Show” through June. Watch out for talk-show hosts who make this a referendum on whether Jim Harbaugh can win the big one and/or Nick Saban can mind-control his best draft-eligible players into suiting up. Thanks to the hook, I’ll take Michigan.
Rose Bowl: Oregon (plus 3) vs. Wisconsin
4 p.m. Jan. 1, ESPN
I’m hoping 6,000-yard back Jonathan Taylor can run off into the San Gabriel Mountains sunset after this one. But after seeing Oregon thump an uber-reliable Utah team in the Pac-12 title game, I have a bit more faith in the defense of the Ducks.
Gator Bowl: Indiana (plus 2) vs. Tennessee
6 p.m. Jan. 2, ESPN
The Vols started 1-4 with a loss to Georgia Southern. Indiana stumbled a bit down the stretch, giving up a truckload of points and yards to Purdue in the season finale, and had offensive coordinator Kalen DeBoer leave for Fresno State’s head coaching job, though he will call plays for Indiana in the bowl game. And yet, for reasons I can’t articulate, I like the Hoosiers.
Last week: 7-3.
Season total: 75-66-3.