Q: I am a Baby Boomer and am tired of the snide, “OK, Boomer” jokes. I am also sick of the whole “woke” movement where shaming people seems to be the goal. Do you have advice on dealing with an increasingly hostile workplace where everyone’s opinion has to be my business?
A: You can deal with the increasingly conflict in your workplace if you chose to be awake rather than “woke.” Being awake means we are conscious enough of our own flaws and humanity that we don’t need to beat others up. Yelling at others, even for a good cause, is still at the end of the day just yelling at others.
Real change isn’t immediate gratification and doesn’t involve verbal abuse. The irony is those that are committed to making others “woke” only make a temporary splash with their temper. Yelling at others historically is not a force for powerful and lasting social change.
In the middle of the “woke” culture we have interesting examples of people quietly putting all their energy into solutions, like Bill Gates. Gates spends little time trying to make people “woke.” He is too busy working to fix problems. Who and what do you think people will remember and benefit from 100 years from now: the critics or the fixers?
I understand that you feel disrespected when younger people say, “OK, Boomer!” Understand as well that the younger people feel bad when older people contemptuously say “millennials!” Every day we can each find reasons to be offended and return fire.
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At some point, we can decide to be a force for harmony and effectiveness or greater conflict. The old saying that an eye for an eye just makes the whole world blind is useful.
Can we make room for differences without creating divisiveness?
In my work, I find clients don’t realize that everyone walks around feeling rather sorry for themselves. Whatever you imagine has been your adversity or challenge, I promise everyone around you has a story that makes them feel equally beleaguered.
The reason I am committed to teaching the technology of interpersonal skills is there is no way we will survive and thrive without being able to work together.
What if it didn’t take tragedy or impending planetary disaster to bring us together? Go into your workplace tomorrow and look for a reason to be awake to how much you have in common with your co-workers rather than seeking offense in your differences.
The last word(s)
Q: There is no way I can deliver what my boss is asking. Is there a diplomatic way I can tell him this without undermining my reputation?
A: Yes, tell your boss that you know that he knows how to (insert his request) and that you need his specific guidance. Your boss will quickly see that if he can’t do what he is asking then neither can you.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker, also appears as the FOX Channel’s “Workplace Guru” each Monday morning. She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). You can contact Dr. Skube at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies.
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