Ask Anna is a sex column. Because of the nature of the topic, some columns contain language some readers may find graphic.
My husband is in the Army and doesn’t live with me. He has mood swings and always seems angry with me. I want to move on but am scared to.
I’m so sorry. No one deserves to feel unsafe, especially in a marriage. I would urge you to call on all the resources you have at your disposal — friends, family, support groups and so on. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has lots of information, including anonymous chat lines and how to create a step-by-step safety plan for leaving, if you decide to do so (thehotline.org).
And, it seems possible that your husband has PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and could benefit from counseling and other help. Because PTSD is highly stigmatized, getting treatment is often not the first route people take, even though it is incredibly common and its effects are devastating, not just on the person with PTSD but on those close to them. Veteran Affairs offers support for partners (caregiver.va.gov), counseling for you and/or your family and a Coaching Into Care program (888-823-7458) for those reluctant to get help.
The important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Go get help. You need it and deserve it.
I don’t know how you can advise people. You don’t know all the complete details and you should keep you’re nose out of peoples’ business.
Ah, so you don’t know how advice columns work. OK, let me break it down for you. Advice seekers write to advice columnists with their problems and advice columnists answer those letters to the best of their ability. Hence, I don’t put my nose in people’s business. People put their business in my nose. (That came out wrong.)
But since you wrote in, let me give you some unsolicited advice: When talking about someone’s nose, the correct homonym is “your” — it’s possessive. “You’re” stands for “you are.” If you forget the rule, as I often do, simply try putting “you are” into the sentence. If it sounds weird, then use “your.” Also, the plural of “people” is also “people,” not peoples. So put that apostrophe next to the e and you’re (you are? Yes!) golden.
Can I ask about same-sex love????
Yes, you can!!!! However, one of the unfortunate things about submitting questions anonymously online is that I can’t ask follow-up questions. So please write in again and we can talk all about same-sex love. Or write me at [email protected]. I read every email, even though I can’t answer them all.
Plus, your information will never be shared and I always protect people’s anonymity, even people who don’t like my advice!
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Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor. Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Send it below, or email [email protected].