Family caregivers learned techniques to manage the stress of tending to a sick loved one during a recent class at Moraine Valley Community College in Palos Hills.
They had the chance to share with each other the stories of their experiences as well as the the challenges they face.
“It’s really hard to take care of yourself,” said participant Debbie Groark, of Hickory Hills. “This kind of puts everything in front of you.
“I need to do something before I feel worse.”
Groark, who attended with her husband, Jay, and daughter, Kathleen, said a prompt during the session reminded her of the joys she used to feel while gardening, a hobby she intends to spend more time on now. Her entire family, as well as daughter, Riley, who could not attend, help care for Groark’s mother.
The Family Caregiver Assistance class aired out a list of common caregiver stresses, such as feeling exhausted, feeling isolated or out of control and difficulty sleeping while presenting tips on self-care. Strategies for managing stress included identifying what situations can and cannot be changed and honestly evaluating expectations.
“We’re so busy, especially when we’re caring for other people, sometimes we don’t recognize the beauty around us,” said Catherine Stowers, a caregiver specialist with PLOWS Council on Aging in Palos Heights. “I think the goal today is finding out what works for you.”
The college offered two earlier classes as part of the caregiver program, which focused on legal and financial issues and caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia.
Class participants also discussed their personal stresses, such as feeling isolated, guilty and questioning decisions made for loved ones. But they also talked about the rewards of being there to help a parent or relative in need.
Part of the recent class focused on mindfulness and meditation. Students learned easy ways to focus their attention and relax and did a “loving-kindness meditation” designed to show compassion to themselves and others.
Mary Beth Lunter, a case manager at PLOWS, who co-taught the class with Stowers, said meditating could be as easy as “being quiet and listening to the birds chirp.”
Groark said the list of caregiver stresses discussed in the class helped her realize she needed to find ways to relax, even though she has a strong family support system.
The Groarks said they also were grateful to find resources including a respite program where trained workers take over some caregiving tasks so family caregivers can have a break.
Students said the class also helped them feel less isolated.
“It’s nice to learn other people are going through the same thing,” said Kathleen Groark.
Resources for caregivers
Online resources for caregivers provided by PLOWS Council on Aging:
Strength for Caring: www.strengthforcaring.com
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Northwest Regional Council: www.nwrcwa.org
National Alliance for Caregiving: www.caregiving.org
National Family Caregivers Association: www.nfcacares.org
Family Caregiver Alliance: www.caregiver.org
PLOWS: www.plows.org
– Janice Neumann
Janice Neumann is a freelancer for the Daily Southtown.