Moving on with life after experiencing the death of someone close can be devastating. Fortunately, there is help available to deal with the aftermath.
Methodist Hospitals offers a weekly Living after Loss support group, which is open to the public. It is available at both the Northlake campus in Gary and the Southlake campus in Merrillville.
“Our mission is to lend support and encouragement, through conversation, activities and printed material, to those who have experienced the loss/death of a loved one,” said hospital chaplain //the Rev. Calvin White, who facilitates the sessions. “It is the hope of the group that some takeaways from the meetings will include learning about grief, gaining support, being accepted, being understood and establishing new friendships.”
Suzanne, of Hobart, was a first-time visitor to a recent session at the Northlake campus. After her father’s death three weeks earlier, she was experiencing heavy sadness.
“I can’t stop crying; I miss him so much,” she told the group.
“Don’t feel bad because your cry all the time. No one should tell you how much to cry or when to cry. This is your way of grieving. Hopefully, we can offer words of comfort,” White said.
Many of the attendees stated that including others in the grieving process was important, but to remember that not everyone deals with adversity in the same way. And their well-meaning advice may not reflect what one is feeling in your heart.
“Each situation is different, but the feelings (emotions) can come up the same,” said Darryl of Gary. “You have to decide by yourself how to process things, but remember that you’re not alone, and you will get through.”
Cheryl, of Gary, agreed with Darryl, adding that the support group has become like a family to her since she began attending six months ago.
“Being here helps make my burden lighter and my heart not so heavy,” she said. “I’m hoping to help others as well.”
The Grief Support Group began at Methodist in the early 1990s. Then-hospital chaplain Rev. Alfred Johnson led the group before passing torch to former hospital employees Kathy Burney and Charlene Dumas Wright. White came on board as facilitator in 2007.
White said meetings are informal, with no rigid schedule.
More Top Picks Garlic Seeds
“A typical meeting includes sharing information about the sessions, such as the importance of knowing that it is OK to grieve and to ‘march to their own beat,'” White said.
After those activities, the group engaged in general discussion. Sharing stories, feelings and a sense of someone “missing” from their life brought out waves of understanding, and quite a few hugs from many of the members.
J.D., of Gary, said fear, anxiety attacks and stress from that someone special not being at your side can be addressed in many ways. He said the idea itself of having options to choose from can be comforting.
“Some feel that their religious beliefs have helped them through,” J.D. said. “And we have to remember, ‘one day at a time.’ It does get better.”
Weekly meetings of the Living After Loss support group are held at both Methodist Hospitals campuses. Call 219-886-4522.
Sue Ellen Ross is a freelance reporter for the Post-Tribune.