After years of Chicago sports nickname dullness, the city got some shiny new ones in 2017. Here are the best.
1. Mitch “Mr. Biscuit” Trubisky.
Some Bears teammates started calling the rookie quarterback “Pretty Boy Assassin” midseason, but we prefer the nickname he brought to Chicago. So how did he get it? He explains: “Freshman year of college, one of my coaches was out with family friends,” Trubisky said. “Somebody said my name and kind of … mumbled it. He was like, ‘What’d you say? Mr. Biscuit?’ … It kind of stuck that week of practice, and that’s what all the boys started calling me.”
2. Tarik “Human Joystick” Cohen.
Inspired by the rookie’s ability to dart around defenders like a video game character. Cohen, on the other hand, calls himself “Big Daddy” and “Chocolate Badger” as a tribute to the Cardinals‘ Tyrann Mathieu, aka the Honey Badger. He’s also been dubbed “Chicken Salad” because he can take a broken play and turn it into something delicious. That’s clever, but it’s no“Human Joystick.”
3. Charles Theodore “Chili” Davis.
New Cubs coach Davis got his nickname when he was a kid. “My dad gave me a haircut,” he told the Sporting News in 1982. “And it wasn’t a very good one. When I went out of the house, my friends got on my case and said it looked like someone put a chili bowl over my head and cut around it.”
4. Alex “Kitty” “Cat” “Brinksy” “Brinker” DeBrincat.
Coach Joel Quenneville calls him “Cat.” Blackhawks teammate Cody Franson calls him “Kitty.” In somewhat lame hockey tradition others riff off his last name with “Brinker” or “Brinksy.” When the Tribune’s Chris Hine asked him which he preferred, the rookie right winger said: “I don’t really have a preference. They call me whatever they want.”
5. Yoan “YoYo” Moncada.
Solid nickname for the young White Sox second baseman, but it’s even better when paired with the nickname of his White Sox buddy Jose Abreu, as in “Pito and YoYo.”
6. Javier “El Mago” Baez.
Baez isn’t new to Chicago, but that nickname, Spanish for “The Magician,” is. And when he’s dazzling us with his defense — and not overswinging at pitches in the dirt — it works.
7. Lauri “The Markksmann” Markkanen.
More Top Picks Best Hamilton Beach Toasters
OK, so this one has yet to stick, but the Bulls forward from Finland needs a nickname, and that’s a whole lot better than the other one knocking around: “The Finnisher.” Well, at least a little better.
8. Brian “Deuce” Duensing.
The relief pitcher had a quiet first season with the Cubs, and so the nickname never took off. But he does bear a vague resemblance to James Franco, star of our favorite new TV show, “The Deuce.” So there’s that.
9. Stefanie “Big Mama Stef” Dolson.
The 6-foot-5 former UConn star was traded to the Sky from the Mystics in the Elena Delle Donne deal this summer. Does she like her nickname? Her Twitter handle is @bigmamastef.
10. Bastian “Giorgio Armani” Schweinsteiger.
Before the well-dressed German midfieldier signed with the Fire this spring, he was on Manchester United, where he was nicknamed for the Italian fashion designer. But here in Chicago, everybody just calls him “Basti.” Or just Schweinsteiger. Because with an awesome last name like that, who needs a nickname?
— Tim Bannon