Ask Anna is a sex column. Because of the nature of the topic, some columns contain language some readers may find graphic.
Dear Anna,
What does one wear to an orgy? What if one is hosting that orgy? Are the rules different if it’s a public sex party versus in someone’s home? —Unsure Nor Informed Concerning Outerwear Required Now
Dear UNICORN,
“Bottom line: You should wear whatever you feel sexy in. And you are the only one with a deciding vote in what that means.”
That’s Sassy, a steward of Girlpile, which is an all-girl orgy in the Bay Area (and now London. Who wants to start the Midwest equivalent?) Girlpile recently celebrated its 10-year anniversary, so Sassy knows a thing or two about dressing (undressing?) to kill.
“You can consult others, you can ask advice, you can try on new looks as part of your sensual exploration, but at the end of the day, don’t wear it to the orgy if you’re not confident that this outfit makes you feel sexy as f—.”
Sassy’s advice applies to any sexy party you attend or host, whether it’s in a public space or a private home. If the orgy in question is just you and your friends, I would keep your attire more on the casual side, unless your friends are hardcore LARPers (that’s live action role-players) or, I don’t know, Lady Gaga. (Though probably Lady Gaga would show up to a sex party in shorts and a tank and be like, “Bet you didn’t see that coming!” and then swan dive into the pile of sweaty bodies.)
More Top Picks Screen Time Rules For Kids With Adhd Or Sensory Issues
I used to fret a lot over what to wear to sex parties—a little too clothes-minded, if you will—but then I remembered that the end goal was to not be wearing anything, which helped put things into perspective. Now I simply opt for “nice underwear” and skip the costume aspect entirely. This goes really well with my usual statement accessory: laziness.
“Some events have a dress code,” Sassy cautions, adding that would-be orgy-goers should “Pick your events with a dress code in mind. If you feel most fabulous in leather pirate drag, don’t go to the pretty pink princess party.”
I’d add that you probably also don’t want to wear something that’s overly fussy or complicated to remove, even if you adore the tightly-laced-whale-bone-corset-over-chemisette-over-petticoats look. But hey, maybe you’re the creative type who can layer but still maintain a semblance of easy access. If so, more power to you!
And what does the sex party steward herself wear to an orgy?
“I feel most sexy in almost nothing but my skin. A pair of stretchy panties that match my magenta hair and show off my ass, under a silk robe (with big pockets for lube and gloves and my trick towel) and maybe fuzzy slippers. Bonus: It fits into a small bag!”
There you have it. Provocative. Posterior-enhancing. Practical. Now sally forth, UNICORN, and be the legend from whence your mythical beastliness sprang.
Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor. Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Send it below, or email [email protected].