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How amusing that the White Sox, or anybody else for that matter, actually thought pitcher John Lackey was targeting hitters in a 7-2 Cubs victory Tuesday at Wrigley Field.

Have they paid attention? At this stage of his career, Lackey barely can hit the target behind the plate — a bigger takeaway than any drama that ensued on an unusual, eventful day at Clark and Addison.

“Obviously, I’m not trying to hit anybody,” Lackey said after becoming the first Cubs pitcher since Moe Drabowsky in 1957 to hit four batters in one game.

Of course Lackey isn’t, not this version of the weathered, tired cowboy. Not when Lackey is trying to cling to a spot in the rotation as the Cubs front office searches for his replacement. But the Sox apparently didn’t buy it because they enlisted reliever Chris Beck to retaliate and continue one of the game’s dumbest traditions.

“Everything was taken care of between the lines, and it’s over,” Sox manager Rick Renteria said.

Hopefully, it is.

Sorry, it’s hard to get caught up in bravado shown by pitchers who always seem one blister from missing their next start. Beanball wars remain dangerous, senseless acts fueled by overfed egos and allowed by inconsistent umpires. So while the mound machismo Beck displayed livened up the game and quickened Hawk Harrelson’s pulse, the silliness amounted to nothing but an embarrassing footnote bound to be remembered longer than anyone should.

“None of it was intentional,” Cubs manager Joe Maddon insisted.

It all started in the fifth inning after Sox slugger Jose Abreu was hit for the second time and shot a glare at Lackey, who probably was yelling something to somebody. Then Lackey hit Sox batters Matt Davidson and Yoan Moncada, loading the bases with victims. From the television booth, baseball’s most old-school announcer threw gasoline on the fire.

“Lackey, it’s just a matter of time, buddy,” Harrelson said.

As if he were watching a TV in the dugout, Beck threw his second pitch at the first Cubs batter he faced, hitting Ian Happ right in the thigh. Instead of issuing Beck an ejection, plate umpire Lance Barksdale rewarded the Sox reliever for aiming low and warned both benches. A home crowd of 40,717 booed loudly, unaware that leaving Beck and his 7.84 ERA in his last 11 appearances did the Cubs a favor.

Patience among Cubs fans already had been worn thin by Barksdale ejecting Kris Bryant for arguing a called third strike that looked six inches inside. Bryant is the anti-Lackey, the guy most likely to let somebody at the airport cut in line without complaining. In a culture regularly polluted with F-bombs, Bryant doesn’t even cuss. Yet the reigning National League MVP had seen enough to stand up for the strike zone, and good for him.

“It was so awkwardly benign what he said,” Maddon said.

The Cubs survived Bryant’s absence and recorded Lackey’s seventh victory, whether the right-hander earned it or not. Maddon again lauded Lackey’s competitiveness, but his lack of command this season too often makes it moot. Respectable numbers show Lackey gave up only two runs over five innings, but anybody watching all 91 pitches saw through the statistics. The low point came when Lackey gave up a two-run double to Sox starter Carlos Rodon, which blind reporter Craig Lynch asked Maddon about postgame.

“It was hard to watch,” Maddon said.

Lynch interjected.

“It was hard for me to watch too,” he said as the interview room erupted in laughter.

When order was restored, Maddon praised the way reliever Carl Edwards Jr. struck out Abreu with two on to escape the sixth or Lackey’s bottom line would have looked worse.

“That’s the game-changer,” Maddon said.

Nothing about Lackey’s performance should change the Cubs’ pursuit of a proven starter to replace him in the rotation. Reports continue to link the Cubs to Yu Darvish and Justin Verlander, the former a rental capable of affecting a pennant race and the latter a former Cy Young Award winner owed $56 million over the next two seasons. Of the two, Darvish looks like a smarter investment, albeit short term, because of the exorbitant cost of Verlander and uncertainty about his future at age 34.

“If you’re ever going to bring somebody else in, there are really a lot of moving parts,” Maddon said.

Lackey sounded selfish recently declaring he wouldn’t accept a move to the bullpen, essentially daring the Cubs to release him if they acquire another starter. Consider taking the dare, Theo Epstein. Kyle Hendricks can be trusted if he stays healthy, but will he?

Truth is, Darvish and Verlander might create bigger headlines, but another bullpen arm and a veteran backup catcher qualify as higher priorities for the surging Cubs. The bullpen, in its current state, isn’t good enough to win another World Series. A late-inning reliever such as Zach Britton of the Orioles or A.J. Ramos of the Marlins would offer stability. A catcher like Alex Avila of the Tigers, whom a source confirmed the Cubs have been discussing for three weeks, would provide insurance for starter Willson Contreras, who homered again Tuesday. Contreras wagged his finger rounding first.

Let the Cubs catcher beware. Inside the Sox dugout on a day of retribution, surely somebody made a mental note.

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Twitter @DavidHaugh

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