Maybe we’ll call it the Taj Mamocha? How about The Java Castle?
Well, if you’re going to convert a prime multi-floor, glitzy property on Michigan Avenue into a coffee shop, it should probably have a stadium-style nickname.
Perk Place?
Most new coffee shops aren’t announced via breaking news alerts on smartphones, but that’s how I learned of Starbucks’ plans to open a 4-story, 43,000-square-foot specialty coffee colossus on the Mag Mile.
The new Starbucks Reserve Roastery will be only the third Starbucks Roastery in the U.S., but also will be the largest one. The new roastery is slated to move into the building, which is currently a Crate & Barrel, by 2019.
Am I the only one who thinks this will be a one-and-done attraction? I can see people saying, “Yeah, we went to the ginormous Starbucks. We had coffee. It was really big.”
Next!
There was something cool about a Death Star-sized Starbucks when first hearing the news and seeing the drawing of what it will look like (I may stop in for a Vader Frappuccino), but there is also a suburban sprawl quality about the plan. In this case, vertical urban sprawl.
I really wouldn’t want to walk down Michigan Avenue in the future between the White Castle Burger Tower and the Panera Pyramid. At what point does urban coolness give way to urban classless?
Maybe a Texas-sized coffee brew house with a skim latte waterfall would be perfect in Dallas or Houston? But I really don’t want Chicago becoming home to more gastronomic sky scrapers or flavored-beverage embassies.
Starbucks is one of those mega brands that always steers the conversation. So, news of its Chicago mega store is already paying off in publicity. At least this time, no one is complaining about the color of the holiday cups.
I’m willing to make at least one visit when the Roastery opens, but I’m hoping their go-big-or-go-Dunkin’-coffee-house concept doesn’t become a trend.
And don’t get me started if I start seeing golden arches or a McCafe sign hoisted to the top of the building that most everyone still calls Sears Tower!
Eric Scott is a freelance columnist for Pioneer Press.