We finally have a “Game of Thrones” Season 7 premiere date after this torturously long wait rivaling how long it took Daenarys to get off freaking Essos. To celebrate the knowledge we’ve finally become privvy to—no thanks to Littlefinger or Varys—here are three ways you can get hyped AF for July 16.
More Top Picks Stanley 6 Gallon
Game of Thongs: A Game of Thrones Burlesque
1919 N. Milwaukee Ave. 773-598-4549
Forget Westeros, this burlesque show at the Gorilla Tango Theater takes place in Breasteros (not even kidding) and centers around the trials and tribulations of Lord Ned Stark-Naked as he’s called to the capital to defend the Glitter Throne. Every Friday at 11 p.m. $28. Tickets: gorillatango.com
Thrones! A Musical Parody of Game of Thrones
2540 N. Lincoln Ave. 773-935-6100
No, it’s not the same as the real thing, but you may as well laugh through your tears from knowing we only have two seasons left at this musical parody. The only way we’ll ever be okay with the Lannister twins’ incest, Tyrion’s alcoholism or the horrors we’ve been forced to endure the past six seasons is if we laugh about it, right? Starting at $36. Tickets: apollochicago.com
If you’re more into the drinking aspects of the show (holla, Tyrion), Remedy Bar (1910 N. Milwaukee Ave.) has half-priced wine every weekday from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. You’ll be as drunk as Cersei during the Battle of Blackwater in no time. To quote the Queen Mother herself, “More wine.”
@shelbielbostedt | [email protected]