It’s amazing how our perspective on the holidays changes as we get older, and with that the things we do to mark the occasion.
As kids, we look forward to Christmas morning with all the anticipation of, well, a kid on Christmas morning. There’s a reason that’s an expression. We go to Santa House along the Riverwalk or to visit him on the days he’s at Fox Valley Mall or elsewhere around Naperville. (The big guy is in high demand this time of year!) We sit on his lap, give him our list, tell him how good we’ve been and leave hoping we’ve done our best to convince him he should bring us what we want.
When we’re children, we look forward to seeing what others have gotten for us or done for us. Not that we’re deliberately selfish at that time of our lives or that we don’t think about others. Rather, we’re conditioned at that point to get rather than to give. And that’s fine. All part of the innocence of youth, as it should be.
But as we get a little older – likely by the early teen/tween years – we begin thinking more about others. “It’s better to give than to receive,” we are told. Our young brains and hearts start to embrace this idea, shaping our greater understanding of the season.
We are probably taking at least some of our own money out to go Christmas shopping by this point, at the shops in downtown Naperville or perhaps back at Fox Valley Mall, where we once sat on Santa’s lap.
Our three kids now have a tradition of doing this themselves, each taking $50 from their bank accounts to buy gifts for family members and others for whom they’d like to get a little something. A family friend and former sitter of theirs takes them each year, in what’s become something of an annual Christmastime tradition. Though in adolescence, we still look forward largely to what will be under the tree for us Christmas morning, of course.
Through our teen years and into our 20s, there likely start to be those special someones we buy gifts for, in addition to other gestures of our affection. Certainly not just at the holidays, but definitely, definitely at the holidays. This is where it all starts to change, as we now take as much joy in doing for others as we once did in having things done for us.
Grandparents and other relatives are likely aging or perhaps passed on by this point in our lives, leaving behind memories of Christmases we had with them. We know by this point that life is fragile, that everyone’s time here is limited and that life itself is a gift to be appreciated. Not just at the holidays, but definitely, definitely at the holidays.
Soon come kids of our own, and everything changes. Now parents, we take our children to Santa House or the mall. We help them write their lists and we start to understand the phrase “cycle of life.” Was it really (fill in the blank) years ago that our parents took us to do this very thing? Couldn’t have been, we tell ourselves, knowing that yes, it was.
We shop at places like toy stores and the department stores that carry the gifts we would like to get for our children. Christmas feels simple again, almost as it did when we were kids. It’s as if life is has been renewed, to see the joy of the season again, now through our children’s eyes. It starts with that first Christmas when you could seemingly almost just wrap up empty boxes and know the little tots would have as many hours of fun with them as they would with the actual toys that came in them.
But those years are fleeting, as they were back when those children’s eyes were ours. Before you know it, the Easy Bake Oven on the list has been replaced with an iPhone, iPad or iWhatever. Now it’s all about the latest gadgets, shoes sports gear and more. What was once a quiet night out for your significant other and you to fill the cart up and down the aisle of Toys R Us is now a mad dash to find just the right item to fit the bill on that teen or tween’s list and hope that it still qualifies for Amazon Prime’s 2-day shipping!
Those grandparents and other family members who may have passed on are now our parents or aunts or uncles. Life remains fragile, and by this point in our lives, that knowledge is all the more acute.
That point is hitting a little close to home for us this year, with a young family member who is in poor health. Years ago, no one would have thought this possible. Nobody could have imagined what this Christmas would be like for her and her parents and the rest of the family. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.
This year, go a little farther, be a little kinder, do a little more to make it the best Christmas for those around you.
Not just at the holidays, but definitely, definitely at the holidays.
Rob Manker is a freelance writer who lives and parents in Naperville.
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