Glenbrook South High School graduate Harlan Cohen is the author of the “Naked Roommate” series of advice books. Cohen said he hopes to help teens who are familiar with high expectations, but unfamiliar with discomfort, adapt to the unknowns of college life and more mature relationships.
“There’s this epidemic of students struggling socially and emotionally,” Cohen said. “If your kid isn’t uncomfortable, they’re really in the minority.”
Q: Suburbia is supposed to be a self-contained ecosystem where safety and convenience are maximized. So how do you convince teens that they would benefit from some hardship before they leave the home that was built to protect them?
A: There’s a lot of different answers there. For parents, my approach is that we’re all doing the very best that we can do, but there’s statistics that we can’t deny. By sharing the data, and my own experience, and having parents share their experiences, it’s like a community. That’s very convincing. Our kids are not emotionally prepared, our kids are not socially prepared, and this is our time to help them.
Q: You speak about the importance of teens making a plan for their college years, but one of the most glamorized aspects of young adulthood is spontaneity. What’s the method for a parent trying to get a kid to look beyond Friday night?
A: Well, don’t call it a plan. I ask them a question. It’s the end of your senior year of high school, you’re surrounded by five friends, new friends, and you met them from three different places. Tell me how you met these people. Now you have a plan. With these guys, they’re waiting too long for someone to tell them about what they should want.
Q: We’ve always been able to select our friends, but it’s simpler than ever to mute and block the opinions we disagree with. Part of the college experience is learning to work with people you don’t like — can digital natives do that?
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A: I talk about rejection. I love rejection. I hate getting rejection, but I love exploring rejection. There’s something that’s called the “universal rejection truth.” Not everyone is going to respond to everything the way we want. Accepting the universal rejection truth is really the first step.
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