It’s said that home is where the heart is, and that if you have a roof over your head and food in your stomach you’re one lucky person.
But with holiday time here, it was hard not to wonder what some of the feelings are that people without homes — those who are homeless — and also those who will be alone might experience during the season.
So I asked an expert, psychotherapist Kelley Kitley, who lives in South Oak Park with her husband and four children and runs a private practice, Serendipitous Psychotherapy LLC, on Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago.
Those without a home to call their own experience, “a sense of loneliness, fear, anger, isolation, hunger, and sadness,” said Kitley, who said she will be appearing on the “Dr. Oz Show,” the day after Thanksgiving discussing sexual assault, which she is a survivor of.
A 2015 article on the website housingforward.org states that from 2014 to 2015, service agencies local to Oak Park served more than 500 people at risk or suffering from homelessness. Oak Park schools counted 173 students affected by homelessness in the 2013-2014 school year. I can only imagine how some of those kids feel without a house to go to after school and no place to call their own at holiday time. Because really, our homes are our sanctuary. They’re a place vital to our well-being and peace of mind.
“Our homes can be our foundation,” said Kitley, whose autobiography on survival, “My Self,” will be launched at Christmas. “It’s where we start and end our day. It needs to feel safe.”
If you are fortunate to not have to worry about homelessness but are finding yourself alone this season, there are some simple things you can do to ease any sadness you might feel. (Of course, you may be happy to be alone too, depending on if you have a totally crazy family or not).
“Sometimes being alone can give people time to reflect on gratitude and review the last year,” said Kitley, who has a master’s degree in social work from the Jane Addams College of Social Work at UIC. “It’s also a good time to cozy up with a good book, take a bath, write, or watch a movie you’ve been wanting to see.
“Turn on some of your favorite music and cook a nurturing meal,” she said. “Being alone for the holidays, when it’s a slower time of year, can give us time to engage in self care.”
Fill your home with color, pictures, positive mantras, candles, anything that soothes you, said Kitley, who in the past year has been featured in more than 50 national publications as an expert clinician. Paying attention to your senses can really make a difference, she said.
“What are the smells, sights, tastes, sounds, and tangible things around the house we can pay attention to?” asked Kitley. “With it getting dark earlier, people can use dim lighting to enhance a calm atmosphere. Get a scented candle to light that brings back good memories.”
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Wherever you’re spending your Thanksgiving this year, whether it be at your home or elsewhere, may it be a happy, blessed day for you. And thank your lucky stars if you have a place to call home because remember, not everybody does.
Home for the Holidays with FLW
The Frank Lloyd Wright Home and Studio is inviting the neighborhood over on Dec. 3 for an open house featuring free tours, refreshments and discounts.
If you’re a neighbor from Oak Park, River Forest, Forest Park or the Austin and Galewood neighborhoods, celebrate the holiday season at the Oak Park Home and Studio, 951 Chicago Ave. in Oak Park.
The Home will be decked for the holidays just like it was when the Wright family lived there in the late 1800s and early 1900s. In keeping with tradition, a 12-foot Christmas tree with handmade ornaments will be in the Children’s Playroom. Free tours run from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. After visiting the home, families can stop and participate in a design project in Wright’s Studio.
Sip some hot chocolate and munch on some cookies and shop ’til you drop in the Home and Studio Museum shop, which will give discounts on purchases of $50 or more, free gift wrapping and a hold a prize drawing.
Felicia Dechter is a freelance columnist for Pioneer Press.