If there’s one thing I’ve been reminded of since resuming life as a train commuter this summer, it’s how the Metra “quiet cars” have created a culture of their own.
Adopted for all Metra lines in 2011, the quiet cars recently turned 5 and seem to offer about what you’d expect from any 5-year-old — general peace and compliance mixed with occasional fits and obliviousness.
For those unfamiliar with quiet cars, here’s a brief summary from Metra’s website:
“‘Quiet cars’ are in effect on all weekday trains arriving in downtown terminals before 9 a.m. and departing downtown terminals between 3:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.” The exact location of the quiet cars varies depending upon the number of cars on any given train, most often the second car from the cab car and the second car from the locomotive on trains of six cars or more, such as the Metra trains serving Naperville.
In these cars, you find signs posted reminding riders that they’re in a quiet car, not that most folks need reminding. Regular commuters are creatures of habit, usually boarding the same cars and perhaps even sitting in the same seats every day. For the most part, people who work downtown either deliberately choose to sit in a quiet car, or deliberately avoid them. It’s not the regular commuter who typically needs to be told that he or she is in a quiet car, but rather the folks who take the train only occasionally.
Every so often, you’ll get a group of adults, teens, a family with small children or a generally unaware solo rider on a cell phone who lose all track of where they’re sitting. Whatever the case, as the conversation goes on, and on, and on, you can invariably see fellow riders struggling with whether to say something along the lines of, “Hey, Chatty Charlie. Can’t you read? This is a quiet car. Pipe down, um-kay?”
That’s how you get situations like that which unfolded in a now-infamous video from 2013 where a large Metra rider scolds a much smaller, apparently much more talkative one for talking on his phone and creating a disruption in the quiet car. (Warning: Language may be offensive to some; viewer discretion advised. http://bit.ly/2cdOccV). After the confrontation gets physical, the smaller man responds with the now memorable line, “I sit on the Board of Trade, I will cut you in half.” It’s the kind of moment that seems to summon our inner Brad Pitt in those inevitable “Fight Club” moments that life throws our way. Of course, few among us would actually go that route.
From Metra’s website, on what to do about a Chatty Charlie:
“If a passenger is not complying with the ‘quiet car’ policy, please politely remind your fellow passenger that they are in a ‘quiet car.’ If the passenger continues to violate the ‘quiet car’ policy, trainmen are to discreetly give the passenger a ‘quiet car’ business card which encourages a lowering of volume. While our goal is to keep cars as quiet as possible, passengers should not expect the car to be completely silent.”
This all came to mind for me during a recent cell phone conversation a fellow rider conducted in the seat next to me one morning on the inbound train. Apparently a performer of some kind, the young woman was telling the person on the other end of the line about an upcoming show, how she would and would not be preparing, who would and would not be invited, what she would be wearing, and just about every other conceivable detail. Of course, on this particular day, I was not seated in a quiet car, so the woman was not technically violating any policy, though social grace would seem to dictate that such a chat occur elsewhere. Alas, in went my earbuds. Problem solved.
I don’t take cell phone calls on the train. Period. Almost always, I will hit decline and immediately send a text message that I am in the cuiet Car and can’t talk. I’ve had to later return calls pertaining to mortgage refinancing, job opportunities, vehicle sales, and any number of other pressing matters that would ordinarily have one answering a call on the first ring. The reasons for doing this are many:
*Sometimes I actually am in the quiet car, and can’t talk.
*Occasionally I don’t want to talk, and the quiet car excuse provides safe cover for not doing so.
*My business is exactly that — my business, not that of dozens of my closest commuting peers.
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Seems not enough people believe in that last one though, which is why we have things like the quiet cars in the first place. This is also in part the motivation behind the “Ride Nice” courtesy campaign Metra rolled out this summer, reminding riders of such social graces as not hogging two seats, not clipping nails and beards, and not talking loudly on cell phones while on the train. None of which should require a reminder, and yet they do.
Does make you wonder if there are any good Metra beard-trimming fight videos out there, though.
Twitter: @RobManker
Rob Manker is a freelance writer who lives and parents in Naperville.