It’s been a little over a week since “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” hit shelves, which means that Warner Bros. has probably already started making plans to develop a multi-part film spinoff. Can’t make just one movie these days, you know!
Suffice it to say that the studio will have a pretty busy time scrambling to fit this in alongside the newly-expanded “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” franchise. Allow us, with all of our “Harry Potter” devotion and infinite casting expertise, to step in and help.
Assuming the adaptation is made in around five years—and that the stage production actors, who are apparently phenomenal, aren’t around—here are our top picks for the new cast. (And no, we’re not going to recast members of the original series as older versions of themselves. That would practically be cheating).
Harry Potter: Ben Whishaw
The foppish black hair! The troubled face! The eyes that are almost—almost—a perfect Evans-Potter green! This is our Harry, guys. It’s too damn perfect.
Whishaw’s profile has been rising quietly this past year or so, with roles in “The Lobster,” “The Danish Girl” and “Spectre,” among others—notable, but not too famous. He also starred in a Broadway production of “The Crucible” earlier this year as John Proctor, a performance that Tribune theater critic Chris Jones described as “brooding.” Brooding! Harry practically has ownership on that adjective after “Order of the Phoenix,” and the moody vibe is definitely continued in “Cursed Child.” Team Ben all the way.
Ginny Weasley: Natalie Dormer
How can you not love Natalie Dormer? It’s impossible. She’s got this arresting blend of charm, subtle humor and whip-smart attitude that fits Ginny to a T. There’s also a vague air of athleticism to her—this a woman who looks like she would be really good at Quidditch. It’s easy to picture her as a grounded yet light-hearted stabilizer for the angsty adult Harry.
Plus, since she’s freshly excised from her role on “Game of Thrones” (RIP Margaery), she’ll undoubtedly be looking for work.
Ron Weasley: Russell Tovey
You might know Russell Tovey in the same way that I know him: as that slightly large-eared guy from the second season of “Sherlock” (“Hounds of Baskerville,” to be precise). He is a sweet and utterly inoffensive-looking man who looks like he could play bemused very well/pull of the lame tricks adult Ron is consigned to pulling in “Cursed Child.” Give him some red hair dye and he’s good to go.
Hermione Granger-Weasley: Gugu Mbatha-Raw
As much as we adore Emma Watson, it’s difficult not to be slightly resentful of how otherworldly beautiful she was as Hermione, because her looks were so secondary in the books. Like, seriously? The young wizards would really ignore a brilliant AND gorgeous Hermione?
That being said, we’re not breaking any barriers here by casting the equally lovely Gugu Mbatha-Raw—but we just can’t help it. Her performance in the 2013 film “Belle” was solemn and smart in a way that would be just right for Minister of Magic/rockstar mom Hermione. She was also critically lauded for her parts in “Beyond the Lights” and “Concussion,” so we know she’s got the range-y acting chops to boot.
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Draco Malfoy: Harry Lloyd
This guy just has the smuggest face—he was born to be a Malfoy. He’s already sported the silver-haired look as Danaerys’ jerk of a brother Viserys in “Game of Thrones,” so it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for him to grow it out and pull it into a trademark ponytail.
Delphi: Saoirse Ronan
Yes, another cast member from this year’s run of “The Crucible.” This is unavoidable, because Ronan is fantastic and would kill it as Delphi. She can be very sweet and retiring—like in last year’s “Brooklyn”—but has that undercurrent of crazy that reads like the blend of the Dark Lord’s Bellatrix Lestrange’s bloodline. Can’t you just picture her creeping around the shadows and lying about her lineage? We sure can.
All the teen roles: Open casting call, of course
OK guys, we really tried here for a bit. We scoured IMDb high and low for this one. As it turns out, though, it’s pretty damn hard to find little British actors who we trust with this many lines. That kind of precocity is rare, even in the proper prep school realm of the U.K.
So let’s return to the classic “Harry Potter” movie tradition of holding open casting calls—gather up thousands of eager young British Islanders and let them fight it out. The next Daniel Radcliffe/Tom Felton is waiting.