If I’ve learned anything as a parent, it’s that one’s children are not all the same. Not even close.
If there’s another thing I’ve learned as a parent, it’s that our oldest will never – NEVER – learn to put the handle down when exiting the shower, thus ensuring that the next person to use it will always be immediately sprayed upon entry. But that’s a topic for a different day.
I don’t know about you, but it’s taken me some time to realize not just that each of my three children is different, but also that they need to be related to as such. Sure, those words make sense, but to really put that understanding into effect, one must ensure experiences and relationships with each child that are unique to each child.
What about the 1:1 time you may have with each of your children? Do you take the time to set the world aside and carve out a weekend, a day or even just a night devoted entirely to them, their interests and that time with you?
It’s something I’m getting better at. For instance, there was a time that only our oldest would be interested in going to a baseball game with the old man. Consequently, I never thought to give that same experience to the other kids until they each began taking an interest in the game.
The Cubs being my favorite team, I like to buy tickets to a few games each season. But now, instead of planning every as a group outing for family and/or friends, I make a point of buying just two tickets to some of these games. When tickets went on sale back in February, I asked each child for a list of potential opponents they’d like to see the Cubs play. (Shout out to my wife, of course, for making this suggestion).
So about a month ago, the oldest and I took in a Cubs game against the Washington Nationals at Wrigley Field. We’ve been to many games together through the years – spring training and regular-season included – but he had the Nationals on his list this year so he could see reigning National League MVP Bryce Harper in person for the first time.
This week, it’s the youngest’s turn. Somewhere along the way the boy decided he was a Dodgers fan, much like he considers himself a Denver Broncos fan in football. Hometown, schmometown, I guess. So, for the second year in a row, he and I will see a Cubs-Dodgers game at Wrigley, just the two of us. He in his Dodgers jersey with ace pitcher Clayton Kershaw’s name and number on the back, me in mine with that of Cubs manager Joe Maddon.
Then, later this season, my daughter and I will attend our first big-league game together. She considers herself a Cubs fan, with handsome young players like Anthony Rizzo and Kris Bryant her favorites, for obvious reasons. When asked who she’d like to see the Cubs play, the Pittsburgh Pirates would be her opponent of choice.
Despite the teams’ growing NL Central rivalry and the Cubs’ elimination of the Pirates in last year’s NL Wild Card game, that struck me as a somewhat random choice. “Why the Pirates?” I asked.
Turns out, she’d been reading “Who Was Roberto Clemente?” from the “Who Was …?” children’s biography series. She’d read about the late Pirates slugger and Hall of Famer, killed in a plane crash 43 years ago on a humanitarian mission to earthquake-ravaged Nicaragua. That, my daughter said, sparked her interest in the Pirates and her reason for making them her Cubs opponent of choice.
Until that moment, I hadn’t known she’d been reading that book or that she knew who Clemente was. So even in that experience, of learning which team she’d like me to take her to see, I learned something else about my daughter that I didn’t know. Turns out she loves the “Who Was …?” biography series, the kind of books I’d have very much been into as a child as well.
Maybe, on that August night when the Cubs play the Pirates, we’ll talk more about the Pirates and Clemente. Perhaps we’ll talk about the Cubs and Bryant and Rizzo. Or maybe it won’t be about baseball at all, but instead about her and what’s going on in her life, 12 days into her life as a 5th grader by that point.
It’s funny. When I took the oldest to see the Cubs and Nationals this season, it was payback for a Cubs-Nationals game we decided to skip last season. When I bought those tickets in 2015, little did I know it would be played on the same night my daughter played in her first-ever softball game. Easy choice. We went to softball, and I took the boy to a different game later in the season instead. That, as it should be, was how we prioritized her game above all else, just as we’d done for her brother so many times before.
Now, if only he’d remember to put that darned shower handle down.
More Top Picks Best Pedal Go Karts For Kids
Rob Manker is a freelance writer who lives, works and parents in Naperville.
Twitter @RobManker