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Winner: Hawkisms. Maybe it’s because he’s calling fewer games this season, but Ken Harrelson seems to be jamming as many of his catchphrases as possible into every sentence he utters.

Loser: Cubs curse skeptics. Kyle Schwarber’s season-ending injury doesn’t help.

Losers: Early risers. Seven 8:40 p.m. or later starts last week made for some brutal wake-up calls for Chicago baseball fans.

Winner: ABC-7. Opening-night game was highest-rated Cubs broadcast to date for the station, and it apparently had nothing to do with its “Live Doppler 7 Max.”

Loser: Encased meat common sense. The overhyped Hot Doug’s (which is supposedly “closed”!) will get even more fawning devotion when it sells its overpriced wieners to overserved fans in the Wrigley Bleachers on Monday night.

Winner: 1950s pop standards. What’s Todd Frazier’s walk-up song? Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me to the Moon.” Gotta love that third baseman.

Winner: U.S. Cellular Field brass. On a bitterly cold and dangerously icy Saturday, the team managed to get everyone into the park safely and get the game in — and then rewarded the brave fans with free tickets to future (presumably warmer) games.

Winner: Villanova. Joe Maddon said he put Matt Szczur into Tuesday’s lineup because the outfielder went to Villanova — and Szczur’s VU education paid off: He blasted a home run. Bang!

Loser: Remote controls. Through Sunday, the first 13 White Sox and Cubs games have been on five channels.

Winner: White Sox. New video boards, Chance the Rapper’s custom Sox caps and the Bite Sox food truck made sure all the opening-week buzz wasn’t just about the Cubs.

Loser: St. Louis fans. First the Rams flee, and then the Cardinals get off to a rocky start. At least they have the Blues.

Winners: 20,000 fans at Saturday’s Sox game. Those winter hats are awesome.

Winner: Tributosaurus. It’s no “Go Cubs Go,” but WSCR-AM 670’s Matt Spiegel and his colorfully named cover band managed to avoid the trap of most Cubs tributes: the realm of awfully cheesy.

Winner: Mat Latos. 2015? What 2015? Spring training? What spring training?

Loser: Cans of corn. Moments before Mark Canha home run landed in the right-field seats for the Athletics, Harrelson calmly called it a “can of corn.”

Winner: Art deco lovers. Wrigley Field’s historic red marquee returns to its rightful place on the facade at Clark and Addison. And fans of the sign’s original green color will get to see it, from inside the park.

Loser: John Danks. Thirty-nine degrees for home opener, insisted on wearing short sleeves — and got shelled.

Winner: Robin Ventura. Weathered the Drake LaRoche brouhaha and even without the 14-year-old leaders in the clubhouse led his team to a strong start.

Losers: The Yankees. Comedian John Oliver turned their snobbery over premium tickets into a social media mandate to place a few “riff-raff” fans elbow-to-elbow with the elites.

Winner: Cubs fans who love toasted oats cereal with sugary punctuation. “RizzO’s.”

Losers: Dodgers fans. Many could not watch season-opening 15-0 rout of the Padres because of unfortunate L.A. TV deals and blackout rules.

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Winner: Trevor Story. Rockies rookie shortstop became first player in major-league history whose first four hits were home runs. And two of them were off Zack Greinke, who is in the loser category after falling to 0-2 after Cubs beat him Saturday.

Winner: Safety. MLB’s new slide rule proves to be a wise change, despite what Blue Jays coach John Gibbons says.