Ever glanced at a park’s playground during your Uber ride home after a night out and contemplated stopping for a quick ride on the slides? Us too. That’s why we hit up Maggie Daley Park, the epicenter of impressive slides, and rode them all. Behold, our guide to which ones are worth throwing out your back to enjoy.
There are seven slides in Maggie Daley Park (well, technically nine, but we’ll get to that). We ranked them from mildest to wildest—and even included the diameter of each so you don’t get stuck. Plus, we gave the slides unique, totally unofficial names so you can tell them apart on your next adventure. It’s time to press pause on your adult life and hit up a slide.
7. Baby Slide
Diameter: 38.5 inches
This little bugger is clearly designed for smaller kiddos, but we weren’t about to skip the ride. Fair warning: It’s steeper than it appears, so no somersaults allowed.
6. The Triplets
Diameters: 17, 38.5 and 58.5 inches
This slide is a three-for-one deal, so we ranked them together. They’re easily accessible via stairs or by walking up the hill of playground rubber surfacing (yes, we had to Google the name of this bouncy flooring). Bonus points: The widest one seems to be designed for riding with a “friend.”
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5. Ole Trusty
Diameter: 38.5 inches
This is your classic playground slide. He requires a bit of a climb, but only about halfway up the tower. You shouldn’t be panting too much by the time you get to the top, so no, this doesn’t count as your daily workout.
4. Cousin Myrtle
Diameter: 39 inches
She sits right next to The Triplets but offers a steeper ride with fewer bumps, which means you’ll go faster. Pro tip: Prepare for a quick landing. If you’re hitting up the park after the bar, heels aren’t recommended.
3. Mount Everest
Diameter: 31.5 inches
Mount Everest earned its name due to the fact that it seems impossible at first and feels incredible once you reach the top. There are small crevices to climb through on your way up, so be prepared to bump your adult-sized shoulders against some unforgiving wood. The ride down is thrilling, making it totally worth the initial struggle.
Go, Michelle, go!
2. Lighthouse Larry
Diameter: 31.5 inches
Larry resides by himself in an area called “The Sea” and is technically meant for children ages 5 to 12. But who isn’t a rule breaker every once in a while? Because climbing up Larry includes a long tunnel, it may be worth skipping if you’re claustrophobic. The view from the top can’t be beat, but it’s surrounded by safety netting, so leave your DSLR at home.
1. Corkscrew
Diameter: 31 inches
As the name suggests, our top slide has a bunch of turns and probably wouldn’t be a good idea on a full stomach. It’s really fast and dark, so skip it on a first date if you have a mouth like a sailor.
Climbing up this sucker is a workout, and if you stop to take a break, you may get run over by excited kiddos while you sit there panting in your cat onesie (just us? OK, fine).
An hour in Maggie Daley Park reminded us that you’re never too old for slides (or playgrounds, for that matter). Though some were more of a workout than others, they all provided an enjoyable weeee! factor. And we didn’t get thrown out of the park for being adults, which is always a bonus.