As parents of involved children, we head into spring — if we’re not careful — with our only form of weekend exercise consisting of dragging lawn chairs across super lengthy fields.
While time-consuming, it really isn’t exercise. And once seated, we tend to transform into the watchers, the cheerleaders, the encouragers and the comment-makers.
It’s all in a concerted effort not to be that parent in some made-for-TV movie that wasn’t there for their kid because they were too preoccupied with work or another diversion. No way, not us, has been the unofficial motto of our generation of parents.
We are so invested in our kids’ activities, we even sometimes utter “we” have baseball or “we” have soccer.
Luckily, I have never heard the “we” have homework. Funny enough because some homework is so drenched in parental participation it may as well be described as “we” homework.
Most of the time “we” really doesn’t mean us, “we” means our kids.
Studies and more importantly common sense illustrate that being an involved and supportive parent can benefit our children in countless ways — unless we go too far.
Give too much advice or criticism, and the kids’ eyes glaze over, they threaten to quit whatever activity “we” are participating in and they may even give the “if you’re so good, you do it” response.
Today’s school and organized sports are so far removed from previous generations’ school and sports, they are only marginally comparable.
What it must be like for kids today to play T-ball or kindergarten soccer with parents, grandparents, coaches shouting and calling their name let alone reach the ranks of the highly competitive sports and school environment kids manage every day.
I received a tiny bit of insight during parents’ week at my daughter’s dance studio, where parents were invited to take classes with their children.
Before class I resorted to texting other moms asking if they also were showing up. I also worried about what I was wearing.
The week consisted of dancing just a couple of hours a day, but I had to adjust to other sweaty bodies within arms-length (weird), not instantly killing the choreography (expected), and “performing” in small groups (terrifying).
I also was grateful for the supportive atmosphere and the rowdy, rambunctious tone that permeated the room.
More importantly, I felt empathy for what many kids do day in and day out, often year-round, in a number of different athletic and academic programs. And not for a college scholarship, not for a professional contract but just to excel at something and be part of a team.
I left with a genuine smile on my face, and so did the other dancers and their parents.
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Cathy Janek is a freelance writer who lives in Naperville.
Twitter @CathyJanek