Paul Kogol remembers the struggle — and sometimes, the lack of support — he and his family experienced with ailing mother.
For several years, Kogol’s mother suffered from Alzheimer’s disease, progressing to the point where she was not communicative at all, spending much of her time in a fetal position until she died in 2004 at age 90. Before her death, Kogol and his siblings took turns caring for her, but it was difficult.
“Going through this phase can be very stressful on the family,” he said.
Along with his mother, there were the added responsibilities of being a single father to three young girls. He became a widow in 1997.
Although his children are grown and he no longer bears the responsibility of taking care of his mother, during that time he often wished he could’ve been able to talk to someone experiencing something similar; someone who could offer him moral support, networking and resources.
“I completed a two-year lay ministry program, and at the end, we have to identify a need that’s not being filled in our church, so I thought of this,” he said.
So with the help of his church, St. Celestine Catholic Church in Elmwood Park, he and six others organized an Alzheimer’s Support Group in the fall. The group helps those who had or are currently caring for a loved one who has Alzheimer’s disease or is suffering from dementia.
He said group members offer willing ears to those who need to talk, and members of the group share their own stories of dealing with the disease. Those looking for support just have to call the church to be put in contact with a member of the support group.
“Most of the people want to know what happened with your loved one and how you got through it,” Kogol said. “We’re also trying to give them some resources.”
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He wishes he had this type of support when his mother had the disease, though there were members of his church willing to give him a hand.
“It was the Lord, it wasn’t me,” he said. “I look back on this and I don’t know how I did it.”
Those interested in participating in the support group should call St. Celestine Church at 708-453-2555 and ask for Barbara Kubiniec-Mares.
Twitter: @DavidDPollard