“Better luck next year.”
Those are four words no fantasy football player ever wants to hear. They are synonymous with aspiring chefs hearing “You’ve been chopped.” In both cases, you are usually going home without a prize and the only place you are considered a winner is in your own mind.
In many ways, preparing for next year—or, even better, preparing to not ever hear the words “wait until next year”—can be done simply by watching hit shows on the Food Network.
“Chopped”
Isn’t a fantasy football draft a lot like a mystery basket of ingredients you have to make a delicious dish out of and be creative in doing it? There’s also the pressure of the clock expiring as each week gets you closer to the prize or the chopping block.
Winners on this show often say they practice making different dishes beforehand. If you didn’t make the fantasy playoffs, now is the perfect time to put together different lineups you would never think of to create an award-winning dish.
Mystery baskets featuring quarterback Matt Schaub (308 passing yards, 1 TD), running back James White (115 receiving yards, 1 TD) and receiver Dorial Green-Beckham (119 receiving yards, 1 TD) complemented by a stud or two likely fielded a fantasy team that moved on to the dessert round last week.
Just remember to ALWAYS get all ingredients on your plate in terms of bye weeks, injury replacements and underperforming players, or you could be chopped.
“Restaurant: Impossible”
Just as struggling owners call on the expertise of chef Robert Irvine to turn their failing restaurants around, you too can spend the remaining weeks of the NFL season taking note of moves you’ve should’ve made but didn’t, or turn to a pro for help.
As Irvine likely would recommend butter to make things taste better, softening up someone in your league with a compliment might encourage them to give you guidance. Buttering up an expert also makes it unlikely that you will ever hear “This is why you’re failing” in a loud angry British voice.
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In “Restaurant: Impossible,” Irvine preaches simple principles to help people create winning dining establishments. In fantasy football, you should do the same. Keep your roster clean without putting out a lot of bad things; offer value while trying to provide something people just can’t live without.
Next year, Antonio Brown is likely to be a top choice on everyone’s menu. Aside from his unsuccessful reproduction attempt with a goal post last week, his numbers (118 receiving yards, two TDs in that game), have me in agreement with Irvine’s ideology—minus shirts that are a size too small.
Next week: Star Wars: The Fantasy Force Awakens
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