With the 2016 Final Four set to take place in Houston, America’s “Space Coast,” RedEye goes extraterrestrial in previewing Big Ten basketball this season.
Coincidentally, “Star Wars” mania hits its peak next month, meaning space really is the place. Much like last season, the Big Ten boasts one team projected to “make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs” (i.e. they’re a national title contender), then a group of about six or seven teams that could potentially blow up your bracket like Luke Skywalker did the Death Star.
(Teams listed in order of predicted finish.)
1. MARYLAND
Talent-wise, the Terrapins are rich like a Maryland crab and brie bisque. Melo Trimble and Diamond Stone form an elite inside-outside combination that will be as fun to watch as their names are to say.
Quotable: “It’s kind of all come together for us this year with the talent. And now we’ve got to do it, of course, on the floor.” — Maryland coach Mark Turgeon
Space status: Solar storm
Like that kid in the viral video said, “I like turtles” to win the league and the whole shebang. Maryland has the league’s most recent national title, 2002, when it was still in the ACC.
2. PURDUE
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Few teams in the nation, let alone the Big Ten, have the size and defensive capabilities to match up with the Boilermakers. Adding 6-foot-9 McDonald’s All-American Caleb “Biggie” Swanigan to a frontcourt with 7-footers A.J. Hammons and Isaac Haas means Purdue will dominate on the glass.
Defense is embedded in the Boilermakers culture as Purdue has claimed six of the past 15 Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year awards.
Quotable: “We’re not saying something different than somebody else over here is saying. It’s five guys, it’s not football; we’re not running flea flickers,” — Purdue coach Matt Painter on his defensive philosophy
Space status: Sun spot
If Hammons doesn’t win league defensive player of the year, then guard Rapheal Davis might. It’s difficult to beat a team that gives opponents 40 minutes of hell on the defensive end.
3. INDIANA
The Hoosiers will be fun to watch again this season, as they have a plethora of top-notch scoring guards. Adding blue chip big man Thomas Bryant means they’ll play more orthodox lineups. The problem is coach Tom Crean’s teams rarely live up to their talent. Given all the recruiting accolades of the players on the roster, they should make the program’s first Elite Eight in 13 years.
Quotable: “It’s the Kentucky of the Big Ten.” — Michigan State coach Tom Izzo, summarizing Indiana’s brand
Space status: Solar orbit
Sometimes the only adjustments Crean makes at halftime involve his pants. His X’s and O’s deficiencies will cost IU a couple of games.
4. WISCONSIN
The farewell tour for coach Bo Ryan, unless it’s not. Ryan said he’ll retire but also left the door ajar. The Badgers lose a ton of talent and experience, but Ryan always finds a way. Perhaps we’ll miss his press conferences the most, as he usually enlivens an almost always dull, tedious medium.
Quotable: “This job takes it out of you. We all have moments where you see somebody and say, ‘He’s tired’ or ‘He’s not quite into it.’ [Ryan] doesn’t have that. He has energy. He’s on those guys.” — Purdue coach Matt Painter on Bo Ryan
Space status: Mercury
Ryan has finished in the Top 4 of the Big Ten every year of his career. Meaning Wisconsin would thrive in a hoops equivalent of the UEFA Champions League.
5. MICHIGAN STATE
It doesn’t matter where MSU is projected now; the Spartans will end up on top come March. Michigan State usually has an ugly loss or two early on, but they own the spring.
Quotable: “Last year we were the worst free-throw shooting team in captivity.” — Spartans coach Tom Izzo on his team’s foul-shooting issues
Space status: “Moonraker”
MSU is the James Bond of the Big Ten. They’re in the elite class, always in danger at the beginning and middle but always predictably triumphant in the end.
6. MICHIGAN
A few core players, including Spike Albrecht (two hip surgeries), Caris LeVert (broken foot) and Zak Irvin (back), return convalesced but with something to prove. Coach John Beilein has a wild card in Ann Arbor.
Quotable: “They say some great leaders, they’re always worried [about] what the enemy is doing. I could be one of those guys who thinks about all the things that could go wrong.” — Michigan coach John Beilein, sounding like the Obi-Wan Kenobi of the Big Ten
Space status: Lunar orbit
LeVert is arguably the league’s best future NBA talent, and he’ll lead Michigan to a finish much better than last year’s 16-16.
7. OHIO STATE
An uncharacteristic spot for the Buckeyes, but they’ll be back in the upper half of the league come 2016-17. One of the youngest teams in the nation, coach Thad Matta will find a way to beat a couple of ranked teams.
Quotable: “We have no seniors, so everyone on the team is 19, 20 years old. I feel like just because we’re so much closer in age, that made us bond even more.” — Buckeyes forward Jae’Sean Tate
Space status: Back to Earth
The Buckeyes were really hurt by D’Angelo Russell declaring early for the NBA Draft.
8. NORTHWESTERN
We heard “1908” ad nauseam this baseball postseason with the Cubs. The college basketball version is Northwestern, which never has made the NCAA tournament. By now this narrative might make your eyes roll. Coach Chris Collins has a good rebuilding role model in Cubs President Theo Epstein, and just like with the Cubs, it may be Year 4 that the master plan shows real progress.
Quotable: “If we go out and play with 70-plus years of not going to the tournament on our shoulders, we’re gonna crack. That’s not what I want for this team.” — NU coach Chris Collins on the school’s NCAA tournament drought
Space status: Grounded
Led by Romanian 7-footer Alex Olah, whose name opponents often mispronounce as “Olaf” from Disney’s “Frozen,” the Wildcats return 88 percent of their points and 78 percent of their rebounds from last season. Even if they miss the tourney, it’s time to “Let It Go” with that storyline.
9. NEBRASKA
Win or lose, the best coach in the news conference game is Tim Miles, who opened his Big Ten media day time with, “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.” He’ll need that sense of humor to get through this season, as the Cornhuskers lost a lot of players from their roster.
Quotable: “If I would have known all I had to do was turn on ‘Soul Train’ and he would dance, I would have done it.” — Nebraska coach Tim Miles, on former Wisconsin center Frank Kaminsky’s famous dance skills
Space status: Terra firma
Pinnacle Bank Arena is the finest basketball venue in the Big Ten; expect the Huskers to nab a couple of upsets at home in what will otherwise be a long season.
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10. IOWA
The Hawkeyes will miss Aaron White, a guy you love if he’s on your team and hate if he’s on the opposition. They do return Adam Woodbury, a more polarizing and controversial player. Like the 007 franchise taught us, you’re judged by the power of your enemies.
Quotable: “There are probably nine or 10 teams that deserve to get in [the NCAA tournament from the Big Ten], but if we keep beating each other up, then we may get less teams in.” — Iowa coach Fran McCaffery
Space status: Martian
You know those preseason exhibition games every team schedules against weaker, smaller schools? Iowa actually lost the one it hosted, to Augustana.
11. MINNESOTA
A Pitino is making all the college basketball headlines this preseason, but it’s not Minnesota coach Richard Pitino. Minnesota wouldn’t want the kind of attention Pitino’s father, Louisville coach Rick Pitino, is receiving anyway. Richard must have the best agent in the business; he was given a long, lucrative contract extension recently. Though the only thing he’s accomplished is an NIT “championship.”
Quotable: “I think when you win the NIT, people get excited because of what it could lead to. If it doesn’t lead to anything, people don’t get as excited.” — Minnesota coach Richard Pitino
Space status: Jupiter
It’s trendy to pick this team 13th, but I’ll give the younger Pitino a little more credit.
12. ILLINOIS
Even at full strength, Illinois was about a ninth-place team on paper. That’s consistent with the past four seasons. Now there have been injuries, suspensions, dismissals and recruiting whiffs. The depleted roster is part misfortune, part coach John Groce’s recruiting failures.
“Next man up” is meaninglessly trite, but it encapsulates the snakebitten Illini.
Quotable: “I tried to make sure when I got up out of bed this morning that I didn’t trip over anything; [I] tried to remain healthy between the walk from the hotel room down the elevator here to the press conference.” — Illinois coach John Groce at Big Ten media day
Space status: Uranus
“Illini NCAA Tournament Bubble Watch” stories are just as cliche as “next man up.” You won’t see that narrative this season.
13. RUTGERS
The Scarlet Knights upset eventual national runner-up Wisconsin last year, so they have potential. However, their persistent losing is baffling when you consider how coach Eddie Jordan has nine years’ NBA coaching experience. He’ll try and retool this year with seven new players and a different offensive system.
Quotable: “That’s one more than last year.” — Rutgers coach Eddie Jordan, joking at media day upon realizing he was asked a question
Space status: Dwarf planet Pluto
The lyrics to Wham!’s “Careless Whisper” sum up this Rutgers basketball season: “There’s no comfort in the truth/Pain is the whole you’ll find.”
14. PENN STATE
It’s understandable how Ed DeChellis, the predecessor to current coach Patrick Chambers, left Penn State for Navy. Some decent recruits are on the way, but the Nittany Lions take a step back this season as they’ll sorely miss D.J. Newbill.
Quotable: “I think sometimes we fear what we look like. We fear what they might say about us on social media.” — Penn State coach Patrick Chambers on the perception of his program
Space status: A galaxy far, far away
Luke Skywalker described his home planet thusly: “If there’s a bright center to the universe, you’re on the planet that it’s farthest from.” Kind of like what attending a Penn State basketball game feels like.
Paul M. Banks is a RedEye contributor. @paulmbanks
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