Move over, Steve Harvey. I’m hosting RedEye’s fantasy football edition of “Family Feud.” Top three answers on the board.
Here’s the question: Why would you ever play fantasy football with members of your family?
Survey says:
Dad discovers the Internet
Five years ago, asking my dad to do anything with a computer was the equivalent of asking a caveman to get his doctorate. He now has a tablet, a laptop and a desktop computer he uses daily.
This evolutionary change was not inspired by finding old friends on Facebook, tweeting about all he ate at the Golden Corral buffet or even posting photos of his new boat motor on Instagram. Rather, this caveman discovered fire when he was introduced to fantasy football.
Today my pops manages five-plus fantasy leagues, calls us weekly to talk about health and well-being (of our rosters) and stays extremely active in retirement. How? Let’s just say that before a star player is carted off the field with an injury, his backup can be found on my dad’s roster. He still doesn’t have a Facebook profile and has no idea what Twitter is.
Sibling rivalries are renewed
Think the competitive spark between brothers is lost when you become an adult? On the fantasy gridiron, you are almost always a stone’s throw (or pigskin hurl) away from experiencing a jealous rage of Cain-and-Abel biblical proportions.
The good news? Murder occurs only figuratively, when one team kills the other. Better news? “Little brothers” finally can kick the butt of their genetically superior “older brothers” at a sport. After all, fantasy football is a sport, right?
If you are an only child, I can promise you there is no better way to experience the joys of having a sibling—the teasing, allegations of not playing fair and tattling (in the form of protesting lineups)—than by playing fantasy football.
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Memories are multiplied
Your first kiss, being maid of honor in your sister’s wedding and witnessing the birth of your brother’s firstborn … championship roster. Yup, play fantasy football with your family and you will likely rack up more memories than DeAndre Hopkins has amassed passing targets this season.
My father once described forgetting his league password as “being victimized” by Yahoo. It could’ve been an episode of NBC’s “The Blacklist,” I swear. Whenever my older brother starts the wrong players, his account is mysteriously “hacked” by an evildoer who threatened world peace by benching Gary Barnidge in favor of Martellus Bennett. On Thanksgiving, being able to do a stanky leg end-zone celebration in your brother’s face when Matt Stafford connects with Calvin Johnson to give your team the lead is sweeter than a slice of Mom’s homemade pumpkin pie.
A trade of a running back to the family member who lost his star running back also makes a great Christmas gift. Just saying.
Next week: How watching popular TV shows will help fantasy football decisions
Need fantasy football relationship advice? Tweet @thesoxman72.
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