It pains me to do this, but we do need to interrupt the love fest around here with some earth-shattering news.
The Cubs haven’t actually won anything yet.
Now hang on, I didn’t say “they won’t,” I just said they “haven’t yet.”
That said, I have never seen such a fantastic combination of youth, excitement, potential, positive energy and genuine championship pedigree since the Blackhawks of four months ago.
Which gives me an idea. If you can’t beat them, steal from them. It worked for the Blackhawks. After years of losing to Scotty Bowman when he was Detroit, we borrowed some of that DNA and made him our own.
The Cubs snagged Theo Epstein from Boston. Had to be done.
Which brings me to the Bears. I do like the present regime, but let me just say that if it fails, there is nothing preventing us from going after Bill Belichick when his contract is up in … no one knows because the Patriots are too secretive.
This is for you, John Cusack and Eddie Vedder. We never see you when the Cubs are 14 games out, but that’s OK. Enjoy.
For all of you who have bled and cried along the way. It’s for you.
True story: 1984. I went to the Bears game when Walter Payton broke Jim Brown’s record. I was never happier. I returned home to watch the Cubs blow Game 5 against San Diego. I was never sadder.
So yes, I’ve kept my distance from these guys since then. It’s like that beautiful girl you secretly love, but you know she’s capable of hurting you. 2003, anyone?
Yeah, this feels different. Even Clark the Cub, the only mascot based on a yuppie frat boy, is starting to look good.
I don’t care who we play, New York or L.A. Both are bigger markets than ours so it will be fun to take them down.
Here’s a fun fact: The last time the Cubs were World Champions, the Ottoman Empire still existed!
In fact, Teddy Roosevelt was still president. He would have liked these Cubs. He once said, and I’ll paraphrase, “The credit actually belongs to the man who is actually in the arena …”
And Joe Maddon … of course.
Bag Boy is a RedEye contributor.
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