As a man with ginger DNA, I’ve always wondered if there is a cultural or a natural tendency for women to not like gingers. Is it a recessive trait that needs to be bred out of existence? Ginger women are seen as exotic, but ginger men are the lowest on the totem pole. Sperm banks won’t even accept sperm donations from ginger men because there isn’t enough demand for ginger children. Doesn’t that say women in general don’t want gingers?
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—Flaming Hots
Dear FH,
For starters, it was one sperm bank, Cryos, that had too much ginger splooge in stock in 2011 and hence was not seeking further redheaded swimmers at the time. But that was years ago, and Cryos is currently looking for “donors from all races, ethnic groups and nationalities.”
“We have nothing against red-haired donors,” the agency’s director Ole Schou told msnbc.com in 2001. He also told the Danish newspaper Ekstra Bladet in 2011 that redhead sperm was selling “like hotcakes” in Ireland, and told msnbc.com that the company was seeking “more Black, Asian, Hispanic, Mediterranean and mixed-race donors” to reflect the diversity of its clients.
But even if all sperm banks stopped requesting a twinge of ginge, it doesn’t mean that “women in general don’t want gingers.” That’s not the least bit true, and I strongly urge you to let go of sweeping generalities that only seek to further stoke your insecurities and feelings of being wronged by the world.
Do people have preferences when it comes to dating? Yes. Of course. Are there some who won’t date you because of a superficial bias against colorful pubic hair? I’m sure. Don’t date those women.
“After middle school, I did not have trouble meeting women who are either follicularly neutral or particularly interested in me because of my red hair,” said my friend Dan. In fact, he noted that “my red hair has gotten me laid on multiple occasions.”
The issue is not your hair, FH. It’s your outlook. There is no “ideal-looking man” whom all women would date or fuck or pick their sperm out of a lineup. Choosing to believe ginger men are the “lowest on the totem pole” is doing nothing but making you feel bad about yourself. It’s up to you how much power you give those kinds of self-defeating thoughts and feelings. But I suggest you put them down.
The world is not going to give you permission to be who you are—an imperfect person. You have to do it. Stop looking at the facts of you as a liability and start seeing yourself as the rare, glorious, fucked-up, redheaded unicorn that you are.
P.S: Here are some gratuitous examples of hot redheads on the interwebz. You’re welcome.
Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor.