Paging Rocky McCaskey … paging Rocky McCaskey …
An explanation on that in a moment. But first, a fond farewell to Yogi Berra, who once said, “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
I bring that up because with the Bears, it’s over. Folks, there’s nothing to see here with this dumpster fire. Please, mind your business and continue moving.
It’s a disaster. Indeed, I suspected there was little talent on the roster.
Little as in none.
Little as in, in addition to having to upgrade nearly every position group on the roster, we STILL have to somehow go out and find a quarterback to replace Jay Cutler.
Aren’t you glad you took this job, Ryan Pace? Just look at all the valuable training you’re getting. This is really going to help you for your next GM job.
It’s OK though. We have Jimmy Clausen taking the reins here.
I wonder if Alshon Jeffery will play. Hey, complain about Brandon Marshall all you want, at least he played. Jeffery remains a rumor.
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As for Cutler, this is for the best. We’ll never know if he would have jelled with the new coaching staff. I’m anxious to see him start over in another NFL city, where he can also be Same Old Jay.
They’ll be 0-3 after this week. No relief in sight. That’s where Rocky McCaskey comes in.
As an escape, many of us play fantasy football. It’s a great time to play GM. Me? I’ve concocted this elaborate fantasy in my head. It involves Bears ownership.
You see, as evidenced by the Blackhawks and now Cubs, nothing REALLY changes until ownership changes.
Since the McCaskeys are like the Wirtzes and aren’t selling, someone has to you know what for things to get better.
In my fantasy, that happens, and the McCaskey you never heard of, Rocky McCaskey, takes over and saves the franchise.
The problem? There is no Rocky McCaskey. He doesn’t exist. I told you it was fantasy.
So we’ll celebrate the Cubs then. Congrats to Jake Arrieta on his 20th win. Hey, the Cubs are playing at least one wild-card game.
Here’s hoping it’s in Pittsburgh. Too many nervous nellies around here.
Bag Boy is a RedEye contributor.
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