Yesterday, news broke that universally loved Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and his equally adored wife, reality TV star Kristin Cavallari, will be naming their upcoming third child, their first daughter, after a dog.
In an interview with a baby-focused website, Cricket’s Circle, Cavallari revealed, “We picked out this baby girl’s name when I was pregnant with our first. I met a woman and her dog, and I loved her dog’s name. Funny enough, it was the name she had picked out if she had a girl, but she had boys, so she used it for her dog instead. Here we are 3 1/2 years later, and we are going to use that name for our little girl!”
That seems reasonable. After all, many names for girl dogs are pretty standard. It could also be worse: had I been born a girl, rumor has it that my dad would have named me “Layla” after the Derek and the Dominos song. According to DogTime.com, the most popular feminine names for dogs were Bella, Lucy, Molly and Daisy.
Those names are fine–cute, actually! However, Cutler and Cavallari have given their two sons eccentric white-person names like “Camden Jack” and “Jaxon (with an x!) Wyatt,” which are monikers that aren’t really bad but also instantly make you think of this image and this article
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.So, that sort of leaves traditional names like Lucy and Molly out of the running. Because I’m painfully bored at work today, let’s run through my predictions for the new baby.
Sidney
Arguably, Jay Cutler is the best Bears QB since Sid Luckman. I know. Since Cavallari, a Barrington native, recently said, “Chicago’s just not home” in a controversial interview and Cutler, with his bonkers contract, is here until 2020, they might as well have some Chicago pride to stop the “Smoking Jay Cutler” Memes.
Karen
I’ve always been a fan of vanilla human names for dogs: Peter, George and Kevin are all great and kind of funny things to call your pet. Maybe Cavallari thought the same thing when she met that fateful puppy owner 3 1/2 years ago.
Jenny
Cutler and Cavallari are not fans of vaccinating their kids and neither is celebrity Jenny McCarthy. While science doesn’t really back up the three (at all, no, really, please vaccinate your children), I’d be willing to bet that the majority of doctors won’t find a health risk with “Jenny.”
Hattie
Who knows. Cutler and Cavallari have been splitting their time between Chicago and Nashville and Hattie B’s Hot Chicken is world renowned. I know, I’m reaching here but anything goes with these two.
Vienna
For some reason, I’m craving hot dogs.
[email protected], @joshhterry
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