If you own Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, Eddie Lacy or Drew Brees, your fantasy football season is already feeling like a nightmare instead of a dream.
But instead of being depressed, lying in bed and watching “Friends” reruns all day, how about channeling the show and approaching one of your own with a trade?
Cue the music:
So no one told you fantasy was gonna be this way (four claps).
Your score’s a joke, you’re broke, your QB’s D.O.A.
It’s like your running back’s stuck in second gear,
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year …
TRADE WITH FRIENDS! It’s all in the approach:
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The Chandler Bing
For most of the show, no one knew it but Chandler’s job was a procurement manager specializing in statistical analysis. While he could be the toughest type of friend to trade with, your best approach is the most straightforward. Show him the data, spin your offer with a little sarcasm and BING, you might walk away with the player you need. Just leave the fanny smacking to the player you acquire. Chandler hated that.
The Monica Geller
Remember, Monica was the most competitive of all. She hated losing and would go to extremes to avoid it. If your friend has similar tendencies, try using it to your advantage. Bet them that they would never trade with you, and they won’t be able to turn you down. ALWAYS make them feel like they won the trade.
The Joey Tribbiani
How you doin’? The way to this type of friend’s heart (and players) is through his stomach. When approaching him with a trade for Aaron Rodgers, throw in an extra cheesy pizza (yes, there was Packers dig there) and No. 12 will be racking up points for you faster than you can say Dr. Drake Ramoray.
The Ross Geller
Ross studied dinosaurs for a living, so throw him a bone, find the skeletons in his closet or offer to help set him up with the girl he’s pined for his entire life and you might dig up a winning trade.
The Phoebe Buffay
Phoebe always wanted to help others, even at her own detriment. So if your season is that important to you, I’m sure she’ll trade you whomever you want. Just avoid trading for a smelly cat on the Lions, Panthers or Bengals.
The Rachel Green
The Central Perk here: If they always screw up a simple coffee order, imagine the possibilities.
Aside from the TV retrospective, if you take nothing else away from this week, remember that your friends will be there for you, but you need to be there for them too.
NEXT WEEK: The Pick-up Artist: Working waivers like a true player.
Need fantasy football relationship advice? Tweet @thesoxman72.
Want to learn something new? Buff up your skill set here.