I love wedding hashtags. I do.
A concise, well-organized feed of photographs populated by any and all attendees of the couple’s special day.
Yeah, yeah … I know what is going through your head right now. “I’ve read your column before, and you are normally an insufferable prick,” you’re thinking while riding the CTA. “There is no way you actually enjoy something on social media.”
I get your point, but honestly, what’s not to love?
You only celebrate your first marriage once. Having it well documented (so you can troubleshoot how to make the second one less awful) is incredibly important.
You’re a celebrity today. Time to come up with a witty, pun-filled hashtag that attendees will brutally misspell, defeating the entire purpose of creating one in the first place.
Jessica Collette is going to marry Brian Hicks this fall. So, naturally? #ColletteGetsHicksedAfterTheKissOnTheLips
It’s magical.
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A gathering of 100-plus people—most of whom can’t even take an in-focus Instagram photo of their stationary, sleeping cat—swinging their cellphones across the aisle during the ceremony to snap a gem of the lovely newlyweds.
An aunt pinching and zooming in 500 percent with her Android from table No. 27 as her son—a groomsman who clearly drank too much on the party bus during the two hours when the group was scheduled to be with the wedding photographer—does the “robot” during the always-unoriginal reception dance entrances.
I adore watching it all live. And then all over again the following day as I scroll through my Instagram feed while hungover in my bed at the Marriott.
According to a recent survey by TheKnot.com and Mashable, more than half of couples create a “wedding hashtag” for their special day. It’s at this moment that I’ll refrain from mentioning the irony that the divorce rate in the United States is also around 50 percent, according to the American Psychological Association. Oops. My fault. I wrote it anyway.
Like I said. Wedding hashtags are perfect in every single way.
As perfect as the standard American couple.
@theseanwow | [email protected]
Sean Ely is RedEye’s video editor and the founder of “The Social Media Pessimist” comedy web series. Watch videos from his archive at YouTube.com/SocialMediaPessimist.