Nevertheless, the National Football League glides on, none the worse for an offseason of air-ball absurdity, concussion discussion and assorted arrests. The game returns so that grown men can bash each other around for our amusement and theirs too.
The halo around Tom Brady’s helmet still glows, if not quite so brightly; the bullying of Commissioner Roger Goodell is diminished by law and simple decency; while the Tim Tebow scare had the world semi-curious between yawns.
The most significant and obvious change is the least compelling of all football moments, the extra point. What’s it worth and from where? What an uninteresting offseason it would have been if that piece of piffle had dominated the discussion.
The Redskins are still with us as Redskins, defiantly insulting and repugnant, not to define owner Daniel Snyder too narrowly. Los Angeles is half-heartedly willing to accept an NFL team if one really wants to come and play wherever L.A., sooner or later, will get around to maybe finding it someplace to, like, you know, dude, play.
And then there are the Bears, the summer’s afterthoughts, little more than a bunch of reusable grocery bags, full of waiver debris, salary-cap dismissals and released regrets.
Patience is the punishment for another season of counting the days when a half-decent quarterback such as Jay Cutler must give way to the traditional Bears bungler under center.
There is nothing Cutler can do to please everyone, or anyone come to that, including lining the field and passing out the seat cushions. Cutler will not be more successful playing for a head coach who tolerates quarterbacks rather than supports them. John Fox’s grand strategy for Cutler is not to let Cutler get him fired.
The new offensive plan will be to play around the quarterback, when the awful reality is that Cutler is the only reliable figure on either side of the ball. We shall see how long Cutler minds. Fox might do the impossible with Cutler: make him sympathetic.
There even may come a day when Cutler is recalled fondly in Chicago, in much the same way as are Bozo, Marshall Field’s and the Stock Exchange.
I am on record as predicting the Bears will win a game or even two, while other pessimists are not as positive.
The advantage of being held in low regard is that opponents are prone to boast and look ahead. What a sly fox this Fox is. When the other coach says he will kick your, uh, behind, you agree with him. The Bears’ best weapon is the other team’s overconfidence.
Forget the absence of Pro Bowlers on the Bears; let’s apply the Bernie Test to the Bears roster. Consider how many Bears could start for another team. The quarterback? Sure, a lot of places. When Fox is finished with him, Cutler may yet find the coach who will make him all that he can be.
Matt Forte? Yep. Almost any team would love to have him wringing what is left of his considerable talent for one more season, maybe two. Even great running backs are not productive after eight years, Walter Payton a notable exception. It is very likely that rookie Jeremy Langford will be the starting tailback by midseason, or, to put it another way, by the time the Bears have given up completely. You do not play for tomorrow with yesterday’s litter.
Alshon Jeffery. The Bears’ mystery meat. Assuming he is what he was, he can play for anybody. Same with Martellus Bennett, tight end and frequent weapon. The most essential offensive player is Kyle Long, hidden in the loose coalition that passes for an offensive line. Long will play where he is needed, and he is needed everywhere.
And, now, the defense. That would be who, outside linebacker Pernell McPhee? Still unknown but paid as if he is, making Brian Urlacher money. Otherwise, the pride and image of the Monsters couldn’t crack the Packers roster or Aaron’s Rodgers’ confidence. Yummy.
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What is that, six legitimate NFL starters? OK, throw cornerback Kyle Fuller in there, too, and that’s enough for a poker table.
Dealer’s choice. The Bears will play these, alas.
Bernie Lincicome is a special contributor to the baiduhai.