Here it is, the annual Bag Boy NFL preview.
Year 1 of the John Fox reclamation project is here.
Let’s not kid ourselves. This is a major, major construction project.
I’ll provide a metaphor. You’re driving along. Traffic stops. You’re inching along and you realize the cones are up and the real work hasn’t even started.
That’s where we are. They’ve just put up a couple of cones, and the next three to four years are going to be painful.
But hey, some good news for Jay Cutler. Alshon Jeffery and Eddie Royal are back at practice!
The bad news is, of course, he’ll never see them because he’ll be on his back most of the time.
Yes, the offensive line is awful. We just need four other Kyle Longs, that’s all.
Goodbye, Jordan Mills. Hard to believe yet another fifth-rounder who ended up playing a lot like … a fifth-rounder. It reminds me of J’Marcus Webb, a seventh-rounder who played like a seventh-rounder.
Hey, try this: Draft them in Rounds 1 and 2. See what that does. It worked with Kyle Long.
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Oh, the defense. Practice saying this with me: “I really have no idea.” With so many guys playing new positions, I really don’t know what’s going to work. I do know this: Antrel Rolle is a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh, and in a 3-4 defense, the nose tackle is the most important guy. Ours is 34 years old and suspended for three games.
Again I say, nice cones. This looks like 5-11 team, tops. Hard to believe, but there are teams worse than we are on this schedule.
Yes, I’m looking at you, Lovie Smith and Tampa Bay.
Don’t hurry back, Kevin White.
Prediction: After stomping the Bears in Week 2, Arizona coach Bruce Arians mutters, “Man, did I dodge a bullet. So glad I never worked for those clowns.”
Prediction: Denver stomps the Bears in Week 11. Payton Manning goes, “I don’t miss John Fox at all.”
Prediction: The NFL asks Aaron Rodgers not to suit up against the Bears in Week 12 to keep the game more competitive.
This is going to be painful.
Bag Boy is a RedEye contributor.
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