Donald Trump visited the Tribune Editorial Board on Monday, and his voice has been rattling around in my brain ever since. He’s a disarming conversationalist with one noticeable tic: Almost any topic becomes an opportunity for him to reference his own talents and accomplishments.
Many of these comments were asides or bite-size nuggets of opinion. As I listened and scribbled notes on a legal pad, Trump’s thoughts began to look like haiku, the Japanese three-line poems in which the first and third lines have five syllables, while the middle line has seven.
Using some poetic license to finish them, here’s what I heard Trump the presidential candidate say:
Mexicans
I love Mexicans.
I sell many apartments
to people from there.
*
The border
The border’s a mess.
Trump has turned out to be right.
Rough hombres. Rough stuff.
*
Jobs
I’d take back our jobs.
I’d take back things nobody
is talking about.
*
Iran
On the Iran threat:
I’m 99 percent sure
I can make a deal.
*
Crime (in four parts)
You have to take care
of the crime situation.
These are tough, tough kids.
–
You’ve got to be tough.
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What would I do about it?
You need tough cookies.
–
When I was 18,
in Brooklyn, at White Castle,
The cops, they had sticks.
–
You’d have no problem.
Gang members were petrified.
I would be so tough.
*
Blagojevich
A very nice guy
but not sophisticated.
Got a rough sentence.
*
Iraq
In 2004
I said, “Don’t invade Iraq.”
I should get credit.
*
ISIS
My plan for ISIS?
I’d rather not say the plan.
Take away the oil.
*
Reagan
I admired Reagan.
He knew me and he liked me.
I have lots of friends.
*
Hillary
I’m the only one
who can beat Hillary. Why?
Because I know her.
Michael Lev is a member of the Tribune Editorial Board.
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