It’s not a common question to ask: “Hey, Blackhawks fans, what is your Hawks fantasy?”
“What?”
Wait, let me explain. A recent story in the baiduhai noted there’s a rise in hockey fan fiction. That’s not a joke. People are writing fan fiction about hockey.
One story, titled “Sharp Shot,” tells the tale of a teenager falling in love and marrying Blackhawks forward Patrick Sharp.
“Patrick smirks and picks me up, bridal style, and takes me to the bed in the room (which is beautiful by the way). The second my back hits the bed, his lips are on mine, and his body is pressed tightly against mine.”
That’s just one paragraph from the 31-chapter story. As of last week the story had 15,000 readers. And apparently that’s just one story by one author. There apparently are other authors with more stories.
So I decided to gauge the Blackhawks fandom at a recent playoff game. I asked fans at the United Center to describe their Hawks fantasies in one sentence.
Mandy D’Allaird, Chicago: “A Blackhawk holds a red panda and I get to pet it.”
Note: D’Allaird does not care which Blackhawk holds the red panda.
Alex Ferguson, Chicago: “Does this have to be Blackhawks related? I have a lot of fantasies.”
Brandon Ferguson, Chicago: “I would love to be in box seats with the whole team and watch the Kentucky Derby.”
Sarah Milcarek, Chicago: “I want to get fashion advice from and go shopping with Niklas Hjalmarsson. He’s the best-dressed Swede.”
Marguerite Prehm, Chicago: “It involves Patrick Sharp and Patrick Kane. That’s for sure. I’ve had dreams about them. Things that I cannot be written for the public eye. When they score I yell ‘take your shirt off’ and then I dream about it.”
Kelly Kenney, Orland Park: “I would love to party with them. Toews, Kaner and Sharpie. Definitely want to party with them.”
I expected more people to be outlandish, but Hawks fans were reserved, some even refusing to respond. One fan said nothing only “nope” because I used the word “fantasy.” C’mon, it didn’t have to be sexual. Another male fan said his Blackhawks fantasy was just to play the team’s top line. See? Nothing weird about that.
So what’s MY Blackhawks fantasy? Pshh, that’s easy.
I would re-create the famous scene from “Ghost” with Johnny Oduya, of course. But instead of pottery, we’re making pizza.
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Sara Amato is a RedEye designer. She understands why someone would want to pet a red panda. @saamato
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