A 90-minute. workshop on Tuesday at 7 p.m. at Lakeside Congregation, 1221 Lake Cook Rd., Highland Park, will offer community and comfort for those who have lost a loved one during the past six months.
“Nechama: A Workshop to Comfort the Bereaved” is a free monthly service offered in area synagogues, and while it does have a Jewish focus, it is open to the public.
The workshop is a presentation of the Jewish Healing Network, a program of Jewish Child and Family Services, whose mission is to provide support, education and resources for individuals dealing with illness and loss, according to Elizabeth Siegel Cohen, a social worker who will facilitate the session.
“Nechama,” a Hebrew word, means comfort. The newly bereaved can be overwhelmed trying to navigate the emotional aftermath of a loss, Cohen said. It may be difficult to know where to turn after the initial state of shock or numbness.
“Mourners are encouraged by well-meaning friends to join a support group, but that’s not what this workshop is,” Cohen said. “I do support groups at which participants talk about their experiences or hear the stories of others. For the newly bereaved, this can be too difficult, too raw. They’re not quite ready.”
Nechama provides them an opportunity to come together as a community to learn about the grief and healing processes, especially what Judaism has to offer in the way of ritual and structure, she said.
The workshop will address shiva, the seven-day period during which a grieving family welcomes visitors.
“The purpose of the visit is not social,” Cohen said. “It is for the visitor to share the story of the person they knew and to begin to develop the legacy of who the (departed) was. Family members, for example, might not know how their loved one was known at work. It’s through the stories that we preserve memories and we learn all the qualities of a person.”
Participants can speak at the workshop if they choose or just sit and listen.
Grief is universal, but people grieve and mourn in different ways. The workshop, Cohen said, is meant in part to convey to the newly bereaved that they are not alone during this difficult time. This is accomplished through normalizing their feelings and experiences.
“It is important that people be allowed to have their time alone to process their grief, but they also balance this with time where they can benefit from the support of community,” she said.
The grief process is not a straight line, Cohen said.
“It is more like a roller coaster. Mourners may struggle with death anniversaries, celebrating events once shared, or visiting places that are associated with the departed. Researchers have found that while mourners normally want to avoid these things, they will need to face these painful times and places eventually to move on. We need the opportunity to share our feelings with others who really get what we are going through.
“Ultimately, our lives go on after loss. It is never the same, but we grow and learn from these experiences, often becoming more empathic towards others. After all, isn’t that what life’s about?”
Liebenson is a freelance reporter for the Tribune
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