For both the Bulls and the Blackhawks, the playoffs are here. Yay.
Oh, come on! Let’s try that with some enthusiasm.
The playoffs are here! Yay!
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Hmmm, why am I not feeling this?
Oh, I think you know why.
For the Bulls, let’s just say we have no idea, and I mean no idea, what this team is, who this team is and how good this team is.
And how could we? Please count the times this team, in its entirety, has played together this season.
It’s not many.
We have Derrick Rose. He’s either going to be awesome at driving and penetrating, or sit back and try and hit 3s. Nobody knows.
We have Pau Gasol. Nice offense, terrible defense. Nobody knows.
Joakim Noah. Tough, gritty player, when he actually plays. Nobody knows.
Oh, that reminds me: Does the “minutes restriction” strategy carry over into the playoffs? Because these guys need to be saved for next year, too.
Call me gunshy, the memories of being blown away by Washington last year are too fresh.
Is Nene still on that team?
The Blackhawks aren’t any easier to figure. We have Patrick Kane back, which helps, and of course, it’s only the silly team from Nashville in the first round.
Look, no offense, the last thing I watched that took place in Nashville was the Country Music Awards, and that’s when Dolly Parton was hot. Let me know when the second round starts, please.
To baseball. Underperforming manager alert: We may, repeat, may, have a Robin Ventura problem. Upon careful review, it appears the White Sox may be lacking a certain intensity, or fire.
Somehow we’re already 4.5 games behind Detroit? Am I dreaming?
As for the Cubs, I’m hearing two fan complaints. One: The ballpark, or the video board, is too loud and can be heard blocks away.
Two: They botched it altogether with the video board, turning it all into a TV funhouse.
I haven’t seen it, I haven’t heard it.
But I’ll say it again. Don’t pay good money to go watch TV. Do it at home.
Bag Boy is a special correspondent.
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