Oh baby, you’re ready.
You’ve got your brackets filled out, your money laid down, you’re taking Friday afternoon off work, and you’re all set to watch NCAA basketball through Sunday night.
Note to the U.S. government: If you really want to solve the deficit, figure out a way to tax the gambling income for the next couple of weeks. Seriously. That should do it.
This is the time of year we look around for Illinois teams in the Big Dance and we have approximately … zero. Not even Southern Illinois, a friend of the Bag’s in March, makes the Dance.
The Land of Lincoln has let me down.
No, I’m afraid our closest friend is Notre Dame.
Notre Dame basketball. I always think of Digger Phelps, Adrian Dantley and Kelly Tripucka. The old standbys. They used to play big games with DePaul when things like that mattered around here.
But they don’t anymore.
I suppose you could root for any of the seven Big Ten teams, but that gets depressing. Each one has some stud from Chicago on it. Oh, and thank you, Illinois. Nice opening-round loss to Alabama in the NIT. Hours after the Crimson Tide fired their coach. As for you, Northwestern, at least Illinois made a tournament.
Pro basketball is even more depressing. Oh, those Bulls. But look! Jimmy Butler and Taj Gibson practicing! Derrick Rose “ahead of schedule.” Ahead of schedule to get reinjured, I guess.
Further, I keep hearing of discord between Tom Thibodeau and Bulls management.
It reminds me of the old discord between Phil Jackson and management. Only with this group, there are not six titles to accompany the bickering.
Kind of makes it silly.
Here’s more silliness for you. Kris Bryant’s agent, Scott Boras, complaining about Bryant being held back by the Cubs.
Hey, in the “agents vs. teams” competition, put me on the side of the teams.
Hey, Boras, want to see what happens when the agents run the show? It’s called the NBA. And it’s a disaster. Smarten up!
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That’s as silly as a nine-point touchdown.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.
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