Here’s my imitation of Tom Thibodeau at Bulls practice.
“Hello? (fading echo) … hello … hello.”
“Anybody here? Here … here … here.”
It’s a good question. Derrick Rose, out. They say, you know, four to six weeks. Yeah right! I AM NOT buying that. Not at all. It’s a PR ploy to keep the fans from revolting and congratulations, Gar Forman and John Paxson, it’s working!
Jimmy Butler, out. Something something sprained, MRI something.
Taj Gibson, something bruised or contused or concussed or mildly strained or sprained. I get exhausted keeping up with this.
So what a nice opportunity to get to know Doug McDermott! He’s a rookie from Creighton, everyone was crazy about him until he disappeared. And still, we wait.
Hey I can’t wait ’til these guys get back, just in time for Joakim Noah’s scheduled foot injury.
Doing no better are the Blackhawks, though look! A trade! Please welcome Antoine Vermette.
I seem to remember fake-studying a French painter named Antoine Vermette during a 17th century French art class I never went to. Hmm, let me check the CliffsNotes.
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OK, let’s get serious. March 11 is decision time for the Bears on Jay Cutler. Duh-duh-duuuh. At first I was like, “Yeah, there’s no way they’re going to launch Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall,” but the silence speaks volumes.
Those were your dad’s Bears who said, “Well, we’re stuck with him so we have to keep him.”
Let’s just say the new guys have other ideas. They won’t share them of course, but I’m sensing massive changes. Hey, it sounds so weird, but copy the Cubs. Blow it up. Start over. And launch Marshall while you’re at it. We’ll miss the leadership. We’ll survive.
Speaking of the Cubs, I see they’ve blown up the bleachers, but the new ones won’t be ready when the season opens.
Wah. Wah. The city WILL NOT issue 24-hour construction permits to the Cubs. It’s a neighborhood, you know.
Apparently it’s OK to drink all night, get drunk and throw up into the wee hours, being destructive.
But being constructive is not permitted.
Could be the worst play on words ever.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.
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