Only the Bears.
Only the Bears can make you feel so good about where they’re headed, and then, upon reflection, make you scratch your head and go “What are they doing?”
It’s been an interesting week. It starts with the housecleaning press conference. Oh, joy! Time to rejoice at the launching of Phil Emery and Marc Trestman. That’s a sign of progress right there! Normally we ride these losers out for three or four years. Not this time.
Next, Ernie Accorsi. We’re hiring him as a consultant. Yay! This is a giant step forward. Someone from outside the organization is helping us.
Then we quickly realize that George McCaskey and Ted Phillips are still making the calls.
Our long painful winter has arrived.
Then comes word the Bears are moving forward and interviewing head coaching candidates.
Um, question, who exactly is doing the interviewing? Is it two empty chairs, because, you know, WE DON’T HAVE A GM!
Here’s a theory. It’s Jay Cutler running the whole thing! He’ll interview the head coaches, and then he’ll interview the GM!
By the way, here’s an interesting scenario. Let’s say the Bears somehow stumble on the right coach. How on earth do you convince one of the young GM candidates to come here when he didn’t even have the luxury of hiring his own coach!
“Welcome, sir. Oh, and good news. We picked your coach for you and you both start on Monday!”
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Yeah, any GM with half a brain would run very far and very fast, away from here.
I’ll make it simple. Hire Chris Ballard of Kansas City as GM, and Dave Toub (oh, we like him. Greatest Bears assistant coach ever!). Both of Kansas City, next. They have the most important qualification: They’ve worked here before! They’re practically McCaskeys!
I liked the idea of Bill Polian coming in and running the whole show but come on, this is Chicago. We don’t dream big like that anymore.
I’m out of ideas, other than that. My bet is Accorsi takes a look around and names … Ernie Accorsi as GM.
Hey, don’t laugh! It’s an improvement!
Baby steps with the Bears, always.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.